Amber: I warn you I get sick. Car sick, air sick. And I'm going to throw up all over *you*.
Richards: Go for it. Won't show on this shirt... |
Amber: Me and my big mouth. We should have taken the trip to Hawaii.
Ben Richards: I had the shirt for it, but you fucked it up. |
 Damon Killian: This is television, that's all it is. It has nothing to do with people, it's to do with ratings! For fifty years, we've told them what to eat, what to drink, what to wear... for Christ's sake, Ben, don't you understand? Americans love television. They wean their kids on it. Listen. They love game shows, they love wrestling, they love sports and violence. So what do we do? We give 'em *what they want*! We're number one, Ben, that's all that counts, believe me. I've been in the business for thirty years.
Ben Richards: Well, I may not have been in show business for as long as you have. But I'm a quick learner. And right now, I'm going to give the audience what *I* think they want. |
[Referring to dead bodies]
Amber: They're running men. Last season's winners.
Fireball: No. Last season's losers. |
[Damon Killian is talking to the operator on the telephone]
Damon Killian: Hello, this is Killian. Give me the Justice Department, Entertainment Division. |
 Ben Richards: Now I'm gonna untie you, and then you're gonna get dressed, and then you're gonna come with me.
Amber: Oh yeah? But why should I?
Ben Richards: Because I'm gonna say "please"...
[Arnold tears up the bench Amber is tied to from the floor it was bolted to]
Amber: Well, why didn't you say so? |
Damon Killian: Who loves you and who do you love? |
|
 Mic: Mr. Spock, you have the con.
Rebel: Who's Mr. Spock? |
Ben Richards: I'm not into politics. I'm into survival. |
Ben Richards: Killian! I'll be back!
Damon Killian: Only in a rerun. |
Damon Killian: You bastard! Drop dead!
Ben Richards: I don't do requests. |
Ben Richards: Killian, here's your Subzero, now plain zero.
| NERD
NOTE: The rebel leaders in the film, Mic and Stevie, are played by musician Mick Fleetwood and Dweezil Zappa. |
|
Ben Richards: Uplink underground, uplink underground. If you say that One more time, I'll uplink your ass, and you'll be underground! |
[After strangling Sub-Zero with barbed wire]
Ben Richards: What a pain inthe neck. |
 [After Richards cut Buzzsaw in half with a chain saw]
Amber: What happenedto Buzzsaw?
Ben Richards: He had to split.
|
Ben Richards: I live to see you eat that contract, but I hope you leaveenough room for my fist because I'm going to ram it into your stomach and break your god-damn spine! |
Damon Killian: It's all part of life's rich pattern, Brenda, and you betterfucking get used to it.
Ben Richards: If you're not ready to act, give me a break and shut up! |
 Damon Killian: Hi, cutie pie. You know one of us is in deep trouble. Youknow who I am?
Ben Richards: I've seen you before. You're the asshole on TV.
Damon Killian: That's funny. I was going to say the same thing about you. |
Ben Richards: I told Killian I'd be back. I wouldn't want to be a liar. |
Tony: The Justice Department's calling every ten minutes.
Damon Killian: Just give them an evasive answer. Tell them to go fuck themselves. |
Damon Killian: Yes, I know a stalker died! It had to happen sooner or later!
[pause]
Damon Killian: Well, it is a contact sport, okay? You want ratings. You wantpeople in front of the television instead of picket lines. Well, you're notgonna get that with re-runs of Gilligan's Island.
[pause]
Damon Killian: Gilligan's Island.
[hums the theme song]
Damon Killian: Yeah, the one with the boat. |
 [The rebels break into the studio control room]
Stevie: Don't touch that dial! |
Damon Killian: I want a kiss, now, a big kiss, but remember... no tongues. |
Amy: You're lucky he didn't kill you, too. Or rape you, then kill you. Or kill you, then rape you. |
[Ben Richards finds a mortally-wounded Laughlin]
William Laughlin: I'm going somewhere, but not with you. Buzzsaw took care of my traveling arrangements. |
[trying to get Dynamo's attention]
Ben Richards: Hey, Lighthead! Hey, Christmas Tree!
[to a trapped Dynamo]
Ben Richards: No. I won't kill a helpless human being. Not even sadistic scum... like you.
Dynamo: Thought it was pretty funny out there in the zone? What's the matternow bitch, why aren't you laughing?
Amber: Because there's nothing funny about a dickless moron with a battery up his ass. |
[seeing Fireball enter the game]
Amber: Jesus Christ!
[seeing Fireball discharge a burst from his flamethrower]
Ben Richards: Guess again! |
[to Sven]
Damon Killian: What's the matter? Steroids make you deaf? |
Ben Richards: [to Killian] One of us is in deep trouble.
[Sven enters]
Damon Killian: Sven, do you wanna talk to Mr. Richards?
[long pause]
Damon Killian: Well?
Sven: I've got to score some steroids.
[Sven leaves] |
Damon Killian: There are still two stalkers out there. Dynamo and Fireball. Who do you think will make the next kill?
Elderly Lady: Oh my. That's a tough one.
Damon Killian: Come on, Angus. You can do it. Who do you think?
Elderly Lady: Alright, I think the next kill will be made by... Ben Richards.
Damon Killian: No, no. Angus, Richards is a runner. You have to pick astalker.
Elderly Lady: I can pick anyone I choose. And I choose... Ben Richards. That boy is one mean motherfucker. |
Amber: They think I'm your girlfriend.
Ben Richards: I can straighten that out. See that camera up there? I'll strangle you in front of the whole audience. |
Ben Richards: Women. Can't live with 'em, can't live... with 'em. |
A wrongly-convicted man must try to survive a public execution gauntlet staged as a TV game show.
Paris
Hilton is a hard parting rich girl who's family owns the Hilton Hotel
empire. But she's now a XXX movie star. Here's an in-depth review of
her amateur performance. 
The Adventures of Prince Achmed is so rich with wild imagination, you will forget your are watching animated paper cutouts in a silent film made a century ago. Someday this film will get the recognition it richly deserves.
Put
on an anti-viral panty liner and let the battle between the
spoiled rich blonde bitches begin! It's Paris Hilton, heiress
to the Hilton Hotel empire vs Lacey Underall from the movie
Caddyshack. 
The
plot of Cobra Island Rave is almost as loose as the girls. He-Man
and Lion-o are looking for chicks at the Cobra Island Rave and
it's a wild night. Snarf is on ecstasy. Zartan is in the DJ booth
and Shaggy is shagging someone else's girlfriend (guess who)
next to Beavis and Butt-Head by the urinals.
This
film provides a unique window into the fascinating and unlikely
friendship between eighty-eight year old cult film icon Kumar Pallana
(The Terminal, Royal Tenenbaums, Rushmore) and thirty-year old
indie label proprietor Dave Brown.
Why are
movie computers always more powerful, full of special features and
can do anything in the matter of seconds? Here's a list of everything
that's wrong with how computers are used in the movies.
