When you order an iPod from the Apple Store, you can personalize it with a custom, laser-engraved message. However, not everything gets engraved. Apple has been censoring some engravings for editorial reasons. Here is the ultimate list of rejected iPod engravings.

Apple’s Rejected iPod Engravings

The following is a collection of engravings from MethodShop readers that were actually rejected by Apple. And some that probably should have been. Enjoy!

  1. 10,000 Stolen Tunes Inside* ~Anonymous
  2. iMolest kids.* ~ gushasan
  3. Not to be used as a suppository.* ~Umbralkin
  4. I cost more than three hookers.* ~Umbralkin
  5. When my battery dies, so will you.* ~Umbralkin
  6. Not responsible for prolonged damage to the ear & brain.* ~Anonymous
  7. iPod Limited Edition: Retard Compatible. * ~Jimmy4Kim
  8. Rip, Mix, & Burn Down RIAA Headquarters* ~Anonymous
  9. Cocaine and razor blade not included.~Carl
  10. Lick My Shiny Metal Ass~Anonymous
  11. karma is a bitch~Anonymous
  12. Bad Mother Fucker* (settled with “Bad Mother Fucka) ~Ben
  13. Something small & white that Enrique Eglasias Isn’t In.* ~wiredgargoyle
  14. I play with myself.* ~ leonardom
  15. Steal this? Will self-destruct when used.* ~Anonymous
  16. iMasturbate five times a day* ~rjones [read article]
  17. F uck Osama.* ~Anonymous
  18. Screwing The RIAA One Download At A Time* ~Mike P.
  19. I cost more per ounce than cocaine.* ~dgcole
  20. This iPod will self-destruct in 1 year.* ~dale
  21. Practice safe sex… Go FU*K yourself!* ~whocares590
  22. Controls on reverse side, you STUPID FCUK!* ~Christiaan

The Following iPod Engravings Were Not Rejected by Apple, But Still Very Clever And Funny

    1. Mohammed The iPhone ~rjmellish
    2. Trapped in iPod factory. Please send help ~Pheenix
    3. “One time at band camp.” ~JLOVE
    4. 49 20 66 75 63 6b 69 6e 67 72 75 6c 65 ~TehSnarf
      (translation: I f-ing rule in HEX)
    5. Turn Me Over And Rub Your Thumb All Over Me
    6. This engraving has lowered my resale value ~I00s3r
    7. I don’t need good taste, I’ve got selection.~Umbralkin
    8. Kiss me, I’ve got Irish music.~Umbralkin
    9. To all the Chinese children who made my iPod, Thanks! ~ Plaid Speed
    10. George Bush Hates Black People ~Kayne West
    11. fatti i cazzi tuoi (Mind your own f-ing business) ~gatherings
    12. I Don’t Do Windows ~Anonymous
    13. I steal music ~ greg2i steal music
    14. Me vs. RIAA: Exhibit A ~ukealii50
    15. My other iPod is a Millenium Falcon ~commongiga
    16. Steal At Your Own Risk. Bomb Installed ~Nick A.
    17. Tom Cruise is a couch humping homo ~Anonymous
    18. Mic0s0f7 5ux a$$ ~Anonymous
    19. I may be small and white but at least I’ve got a big disk! ~Jesse S.
    20. Don’t fsck with me or: $find / -name u | /dev/null
    21. Scratch your balls, not my metal. ~Anonymous
    22. Who said Apple sucks? ~Jaeboy
    23. Save water, drink beer and shower together. ~ Jquinn825
    24. Now you have two little white pocket rockets. ~Anonymous
    25. People will pay more to be entertained than educated. ~DulceDLeche16
    26. WARNING: Contains Yanni Box Set. ~Anonymous
    27. 10,000 reasons to ignore my wife. ~Anonymous
    28. If only women’s buttons were this easy to push. ~Anonymous
    29. This iPod makes up for my small hard disk. ~Anonymous
    30. Once you go small and white… ~Anonymous
    31. 98% Liberace-free! ~Anonymous
    32. Harmful If Swallowed. ~Anonymous
    33. Dear [insert name], Thanks for the iPod idea. Steve Jobs ~IFC1
    34. I’m so trendy look at my white headphones! ~sjs
    35. Size Does Matter ~Anonymous
    36. Musically Disturbed ~Joe F.
    37. Weapons of Mass Distraction Inside ~wiredgargoyle
    38. Contents Under Pressure from RIAA ~wiredgargoyle
    39. My other handheld is a PocketPC ~vostinar
    40. CDs are for Amish people! ~mustachioman
    41. Quarter free jukebox ~mustachioman
    42. FCUK WINDOWS ~lancew
    43. Why drink and drive, When you can smoke and fly. ~tipx
    44. I last 8 hrs. You last 2 minutes. Who’s the man? ~Anonymous
    45. My iPod can beat up your honor roll student. ~Anonymous
    46. Your mamma uses a walkman. ~Anonymous
    47. “Say hello to my little friend” ~iiikora
    48. FCUK THE SHUFFLE, WTF I Ordered a 60 Gigger! ~dilpreet64
    49. Here’s another one that requires a few extra brain cells. If you use the first line, as the input for the second line. It produces the text… “This music was all stolen” in plain English. ~asterisk
      • Gopz tbzpj dhz hss zavklu.
      • for(;;i++)d[i]=d[i]%26+65;

How To Get Your Rejected Message Engraved

Do you have a rejected iPod engraving that you still really want to laser-etched on your iPod? If Apple does reject your engraving, just take your iPod to your local jeweler. They can engrave it for you.

Did You Like Our List Of Rejected iPod Engravings?

Reminder, only entries with a * were actually rejected by Apple. All other entries were just made up by our readers. If you have a real rejected engraving, or just a funny one, please send it to us. If you enjoyed this article, then please leave a comment. Thanks.