The original Ghostbusters is still as hilarious as ever. Need a reminder? Here are the funniest Ghostbusters quotes from the 1984 film that will put a smile on your face.

As you may know, good comedies are hard to come by these days. Case in point? The 2016 all-female Ghostbusters reboot. Despite positive critical reception, the remake was a huge box office flop. If you ask us, the main reason behind it was the lack of quotable lines. You know, the thing that made the original Ghostbusters such a hit.

Fortunately, the original is still as hilarious as ever. Need a reminder? Here are the best Ghostbusters quotes from the original 1984 film that will put the smile back on your face.


  • Winston Zeddemore: Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a God, you say “YES”!

2Do You Want Some Coffee?

Louis has been possessed by the Keymaster

  • Janine Melnitz: Do you want some coffee, Mr. Tulley?
  • Louis: (To Egon) Do I?
  • Dr. Egon Spengler: Yes, have some.
  • Louis: (To Janine) Yes, have some.

3This Man Has No D**k

  • Dr. Raymond Stantz: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by d**kless here.
  • Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!
  • Mayor: Is this true?
  • Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes it’s true.
  • (Pause)
  • Dr. Peter Venkman: This man has no d**k.

4Making New Friends

  • Dana Barrett: There is no Dana. There is only Zuul.

5Disaster Signs

  • Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!

6The Philadelphia Mass Turbulence Of 1947

  • Dr. Raymond Stantz: Symmetrical book stacking. Just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.
  • Dr. Peter Venkman: You’re right, no human being would stack books like this.

7Dry Humor

Dana has described seeing the demon Zuul in her refrigerator.

  • Dr. Peter Venkman: Generally you don’t see that kind of behavior in a major appliance.

8The Professional

  • Janine Melnitz: Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis?
  • Winston Zeddemore: Ah, if there’s a steady paycheck in it, I’ll believe anything you say.

9Voter Turnout

Persuading the mayor to let them stop a supernatural upheaval.

  • Dr. Peter Venkman: If I’m wrong, nothing happens! We go to jail – peacefully, quietly. We’ll enjoy it! But if I’m *right*, and we *can* stop this thing… Lenny, you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters.


  • Dr. Peter Venkman: I don’t have to take this abuse from you. I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

11Harsh Truths

  • Janine Melnitz: You’re very handy, I can tell. I bet you like to read a lot, too.
  • Dr. Egon Spengler: Print is dead.


  • Dr. Raymond Stantz: Listen… you smell something?

13Don’t Cross The Streams – Ghostbusters Quotes

  • Dr. Egon Spengler: There’s something very important I forgot to tell you.
  • Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
  • Dr. Egon Spengler: Don’t cross the streams.

14Standard Procedure

  • Dr. Peter Venkman: Back off, man. I’m a scientist.


  • Dr. Raymond Stantz: I think we’d better split up.
  • Dr. Egon Spengler: Good idea.
  • Dr. Peter Venkman: Yeah, we can do more damage that way.

16This Chick Is Toast

  • Dr. Peter Venkman: This chick is toast!

NERD NOTE: The Ghostbusters script was originally written with Eddie Murphy playing the character Winston. Earlier versions of the script had Winston with the team from the beginning and getting slimed at the hotel. But after Murphy declined the role, the script was re-written to have Winston join the team in the middle of the film.

The Best Ghostbusters Quotes, Did We Miss Any?

Considering that the movie is a laugh-a-minute affair, it’s hard to decide on just a few of the best Ghostbusters quotes. Did we miss some of your favorites? Let us know in the comments below or tweet us @methodshop.

Can’t get enough of that lovable rascal Bill Murray? Take a look at our list of the most memorable Groundhog Day quotes!

Related Articles: