Back in 1989, Bill and Ted took the world by storm and quickly became one of the most lovable and quotable pair of dummies in cinema history. Today let’s celebrate them by remembering these Bill and Ted quotes.
The Best Bill And Ted Quotes
Here are our favorite Bill and Ted quotes from all of their excellent films!
- Ted: Okay, if you guys are really us… what number are we thinking of?
- Future Bill and Ted: 69, dudes!
Iron Maiden? Excellent!
- Duke: Put them in the Iron Maiden!
- Ted: Iron Maiden??
- Bill and Ted: EXCELLENT!
- Duke: Execute them.
- Bill and Ted: BOGUS!
San Dimas High School Football Rules!
- Ox Robbins: Everything is different, but the same… things are more moderner than before… bigger, and yet smaller… it’s computers… San Dimas High School football rules.
He Didn’t Even Card Us
- Ted: Whoa… He didn’t even card us, dude.
- Bill: Yeah, we have to remember this place.
Dust In The Wind
- Bill: How’s it going? I’m Bill, this is Ted. We’re from the future!
- Socrates: Socrates.
- Ted: (Turns to Bill) Now what?
- Bill: I don’t know… philosophize with him.
- Ted: *Ahem* All we are is dust in the wind, dude.
- Bill: (Scoops up dirt and starts to pour it out of his hand) Dust.
- Bill: (Blows the dust away) Wind.
- Ted: (Points at Socrates) Dude.
- Socrates: (Astonished look on his face) Ooh!
NERD NOTE: One of the best Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure quotes is actually a song lyric from the rock band Kansas. “All we are is dust in the wind” is a line from the song “Dust in the Wind” from Kansas’ 1977 album “Point of Know Return“.
What Is A Geek?
- Girl: Oh, my God!
- Sigmund Freud: You both seem to be suffering from a mild form of hysteria.
- Girl: You are such a geek! (walks away)
- Billy the Kid: Way to go, egghead!
- Socrates: (laughing) Geek!!
- Sigmund Freud: What is a geek?
Mr. Genghis Khan!
- Bill: It is indeed a pleasure to introduce to you a gentleman we picked up in medieval Mongolia in the year 1269.
- Ted: Please welcome the very excellent barbarian…
- Bill and Ted: MR. GENGHIS KHAN! (students applaud)
- Ted: This is a dude who, 700 years ago, totally ravaged China, and who, we were told 2 hours ago, totally ravaged Oshman’s Sporting Goods!
Joan of Arc
- Mr. Ryan: Ted, stand up.
- Ted: Stand up?
- Mr. Ryan: Yes, son. Stand up. (Ted stands up)
- Mr. Ryan: Now, who was Joan of Arc?
- Ted: … Noah’s wife! (Classroom fills with laughter)
You Ditched Napoleon
- Bill: You ditched Napoleon?
- Ted: Deacon, do you realize you have just stranded one of Europe’s greatest leaders in San Dimas?
- Deacon: He was a d**k.
The “Eddie Van Halen vs Triumphant Video” Debate
- Bill: Ted, while I agree that, in time, our band will be most triumphant. The truth is, Wyld Stallyns will never be a super band until we have Eddie Van Halen on guitar.
- Ted: Yes, Bill. But, I do not believe we will get Eddie Van Halen until we have a triumphant video.
- Bill: Ted, it’s pointless to have a triumphant video before we even have decent instruments.
- Ted: Well, how can we have decent instruments when we don’t really even know how to play?
- Bill: That is why we need Eddie Van Halen!
- Ted: And THAT is why we need a triumphant video!
- Both: EXCELLENT! (Air guitars)
Flunking Most Heinously
- Bill: We are in danger of flunking most heinously tomorrow, Ted.
Strange Things Afoot
- Ted: Bill?
- Bill: What?
- Ted: Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.
Bill Adn Ted: A Most Excellent Movie Franchise
We all remember the struggles of writing a history report, albeit with our best friend of equal intelligence (or lack thereof); but these two shouldn’t have even been let in the same classroom! Thank the Lord for Rufus, who provided a time machine so that our Wyld Stallyns could rock out on an adventure for the ages!
These Bill and Ted quotes have proven to be timeless and easy to work into a conversation to this very day. With three films in this series, there’s a lot to choose from.
- Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure
- Bill And Ted’s Bogus Journey
- Bill And Ted Face The Music (aka Bill and Ted 3)