Swearing has been around as long as humans have stubbed their toes on prehistoric rocks, and few words pack a punch quite like the infamous F-bomb. While modern etiquette frowns upon its usage (except when driving in rush-hour traffic), there have been moments throughout history where saying *“What the &%#?!” was not only justified—but practically mandatory.
From world leaders to ancient mathematicians, here are the most appropriate times in history to unleash the most versatile curse word of all time, the F-bomb.
20) “This is gonna hurt like &%#.” – Eve, 4000 BC*
(First recorded words of childbirth. Also, first recorded side-eye at Adam.)
19) “Where the &%# did all these Indians come from?!” – General Custer, 1876
Custer’s Last Stand, also known as the Battle of the Little Bighorn, was more like Custer’s Last Words. Spoiler: It did not go well for him.
18) “What the &%# was THAT?” – Mayor of Hiroshima, August 6, 1945
No further explanation needed.
17) “The South is &%#ed.” – Robert E. Lee, April 9, 1865
Upon surrendering to Ulysses S. Grant at Appomattox, marking the end of the Civil War. Also the beginning of awkward family reunions.
16) “You want WHAT on the &%#ing ceiling?!” – Michelangelo, 1508
Imagine being told to paint an entire ceiling while lying on your back for four years. This reaction seems justified.
15) “This is some &%#ing cold water.” – Leonardo DiCaprio—I mean, Jack Dawson, 1912
The Titanic sank in freezing temperatures, and let’s be real, “I’ll never let go” was followed by “Holy &%#, it’s cold.”
*14) “I don’t suppose it’s gonna &%#ing rain.” – Joan of Arc, 1431
While awaiting her fate at the stake, she probably would’ve appreciated a weather miracle.
*13) “How the &%# did you work that out?” – Pythagoras, 500 BC
That moment when someone proves a mathematical theorem you can barely remember from high school.
*12) “It does SO &%#ing look like her!” – Pablo Picasso, 1926
Ever seen a Picasso painting? It’s like an argument frozen in time.
*11) “Scattered &%#ing showers… MY ASS!” – Noah, 2348 BC
Imagine getting a “40 days of flooding” weather forecast and still being unprepared.
*10) “We’re &%#ing lost.” – Christopher Columbus, 1492
He missed India by literally an entire continent, yet somehow got a holiday named after him.
*9) “Any &%#ing idiot could understand that!” – Albert Einstein, 1934
Spoiler: They could not.
*8) “Why the &%# is there a wall here?” – East Berlin resident, August 13, 1961
Overnight, the Berlin Wall appeared, dividing a city and leaving thousands trapped on the wrong side.
7) “Aw, &%#. That looks like an iceberg.” – RMS Titanic lookout, April 14, 1912
Woulda been nice if they had binoculars.
6) “Houston, we have a &%#ing problem.” – Apollo 13 crew, April 13, 1970
An oxygen tank exploded, turning the Apollo moon mission into an emergency survival situation.
5) “I need this parade like I need a &%#ing hole in my head.” – John F. Kennedy, November 22, 1963
In hindsight, this quote hits a little too close to home.
4) “The British are &%#ing coming!” – Paul Revere, April 18, 1775
Well, at least he tried to warn everyone.
3) “We’re gonna need a bigger &%#ing boat.” – Captain of the Pequod, 1851
Moby Dick, Ahab’s obsession, and a whole lot of bad decisions.
2) “Aw c’mon, who the &%# is gonna find out?” – Bill Clinton, 1997
Short answer: Everyone.
1) “Oh &%#, the Y2K bug is real!” – Some guy, December 31, 1999
We all remember that brief moment of panic when we thought computers might just delete the world on December 31, 1999, at midnight.
Frank Wilson is a retired teacher with over 30 years of combined experience in the education, small business technology, and real estate business. He now blogs as a hobby and spends most days tinkering with old computers. Wilson is passionate about tech, enjoys fishing, and loves drinking beer.
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