Plant Porn: 20 Surprisingly Erotic Images From Nature (SFW)

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Here’s our collection of plant porn pictures featuring erotic plants and nature being very naughty. Even though all photos are SFW, you still might want to be discreet when viewing this article. 

Have you ever found yourself unable to resist the eroticism of flowers and vegetables? Do whorls of petals, pistils, and stamens get you excited? If so, then you’ll enjoy this photo compilation of erotic plant porn, featuring botanical beefcakes, sultry succulents, and phallic pollination positions. Humans not included.

Clown Penis Plants

These cactus plants are a perfect example of how good intentions can sometimes go horribly wrong. A part of a school project, students painted their clowns, planted the cactus and took care of the plants as they grew. Unfortunately, the phallic shape of the cactus and its placement in the clown vase made these x-rated houseplants too controversial to send home with the elementary school kids.

The Clown Cactus: An Elementary School Project Gone Horribly Wrong #PlantPorn #TeacherLife Share on X

Gourd Nipples

These might look like big tits from a Latina woman, but they are really just gourds. We can’t tell if the human-like nipples were Photoshopped or not. What’s your breast guess?

Eggplant Penis

You’ve probably heard the phrase “morning wood.” But what about “morning eggplant wood”? Try pissing with that in the morning.

Penis Lemon

This is a very large and strangely shaped lemon. If you cut off the tip and squeeze it, will it squirt lemon juice?

Penis Pepper

This pepper looks like a thick circumcised penis. It’s almost like what you might expect to see if the Hulk pulled down his pants.

Erect Cactus Man

Hey now! For some reason, this cactus has human-like arms and looks really excited to see you.

Vagina Sand Dunes

Does the positioning of this bush and the small valley in between sand dunes remind you of anything? Now you just need a little bit of snow to create a natural creampie.

Melon Butt

Watermelon Butt

Is it wrong to think that a watermelon has a perfect ass?

Nephelym Penis Rock

These guys look very happy to be posing for this picture. Does anyone know where this Nephelym phallic rock is? Our guess, maybe Bryce Canyon.

Rock-Butt

Penis Tree

This huge tree has a phallic dangling branch or root or whatever. One this is for sure, you’ll need a ginormous mouth to give whatever it is a blowjob.

Penis Cactus

Between the color and pattern of this cactus, it almost looks like it’s throbbing. Open up and get ready for a cumshot of cactus juice!

Doggy Style Tree

This tree looks purposely positioned. Not sure what’s going on with these guys in the photo but I’ll guess that they were the ones who created this situation.

Naked Carrot Couple

It’s pretty rare for a carrot to grow extra shafts. What are the odds that this person farmed these two carrot from the same garden?

Bark to Bark: Tree Sex

The outlines of these trees look suspiciously like some naked tree people are having sex. Maybe the Named Ents from The Lord Of The Rings are in the middle of a threesome orgy?

Penis Pinecone

How would you like to see this on your next Christmas Tree?

Open Legs Tree

The guy in this photo is a little too excited to see this tree. He’s probably thinking about masturbating or hardcore fisting this poor tree.

Nude Tree Dancer

Naughty Carrot

Did You Know That Plant Porn Is A Popular Internet Search Term?!

We hope you enjoyed our collection of plant porn and naughty nature photos. If you have corrections or additional photos and plant porn videos, then please share them in the comments. Thanks for reading!

NERD NOTE: We weren’t sure exactly how to title this collection of photos. So we researched the phrases “plant porn”, “porn plants” and “nature porn” on Google Trends. “Plant Porn” scored the highest in search results. Go figure.

Related Articles:

• Elementary School Students Accidentally Grow Cactus Penis Plants
• Videos Of People Who Immediately Regretted Peeing On An Electric Fence
• Ouch! Woman Survives Tree Branch Through Neck
• The Funniest Cockpit Audio Excerpts From US Navy Sky Penis Incident