October is full of so many fun Halloween activities. Between planning your spooky Halloween costume to a Halloween party playlist, there are so many great activities that take place in just a few short weeks. And if you have kids, Halloween wouldn’t be complete without some corny Halloween dad jokes. Skeleton jokes, ghost jokes, pumpkin jokes, vampire jokes… we’ve got ’em all! Here are some funny Halloween jokes for kids to use at your next Halloween party.
SKELETON JOKES
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to school? His heart wasn’t in it.
- Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? He didn’t have the guts.
- What instrument does a skeleton play? The trombone.
- What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A sax-a-bone
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to dance with.
- Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love.
- Why do skeletons stay so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
- What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper.
- What do skeletons order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
- Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? Because there was no body on the other side.
- Why did the skeleton climb a tree? Because a dog was after his bones!
- What does a skeleton say before dinner? Bone-appetit!
- How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle her funny bone.
- A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer… and a mop. (Switch both “bar” and “beer” to “restaurant” and “milk” to make this a more kid-friendly Halloween joke)
VAMPIRE JOKES
- Why don’t vampires have more friends? Because they are a pain in the neck.
- What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
- Where do vampires keep their money? The blood bank.
- Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana Who? Ivana suck your blood!
- How can you tell if a vampire is sick? He starts coffin!
- What do you give a vampire when he’s sick? Coffin-drops.
- What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
- What happens when a vampire hunts in the snow? Frostbite!
- Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
- How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
- What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A grave problem.
- What kind of tests do vampires give their students? Blood tests.
- What kind of dog does Dracula have? A bloodhound.
- What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
- What type of coffee does a vampire drink? De-coffin-ated!
- What do you get when you cross a very strict school teacher with a vampire? Lots of blood tests!
- Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game? Because they couldn’t find their bats.
- What is Dracula’s favorite ice cream flavor? Vein-illa
- How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
- What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? Necktarines
- What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal? A steak!
GHOST JOKES
- What do ghosts wash their hair with? Sham-boo (Say “sham” and then yell “BOO!”
- Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-BOO!
- What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
- Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos. (booze; sorry this Halloween joke isn’t very kid-friendly)
- What is in a ghost’s nose? Boooooo-gers.
- What is a ghost’s nose full of? Boooooo-gers!
- What kinds of pants do ghosts wear? Boooooo-jeans. (blue jeans)
- What’s a Ghost’s favorite yogurt flavor? Booooo-berry
- Where do fashionable ghosts shop? Bootiques!
- Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween? It didn’t have a haunting license.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? Ice Scream!
- Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Day-scare centers!
- What room does a ghost not need? A living room.
- What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist. (missed)
- What position does a ghost play in hockey? Ghoulie.
- Why do ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures. (girlish figures)
- Why do ghosts and ghouls hang out together? Because ghosts are a ghoul’s best friend!
- Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders? Because they have a lot of spirit!
- What theme park rides do ghosts like the most? The Roller-GHOSTER and the Scary-Go-Round!
- Where does a ghost go swimming? The Dead Sea
- What kind of mistake does a ghost make? A boo-boo!
- What game do young ghosts like to play? Hide and shriek!
- What’s a ghost’s least favorite room in a house? The living room.
- Where do ghosts buy their Halloween candy? At the ghost-ery store!
- What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost? You sure are boo-tiful!
- What is a ghost’s favorite dessert? Boo-berries and I Scream
- What do spooks with poor eyesight wear? Spook-tacles
- What kind of streets do ghosts like to live on? Dead Ends
- Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad? Because they were trans-parents!
- What did the mommy ghost say to the baby ghost? Don’t spook until you are spoken to.
- Why are ghosts, such terrible liars? Because you can see right through them.
- Why are ghosts so bad at lying? Because you can see right through them!
- What’s a ghost’s favorite type of pasta? Spookghetti
FUNNY PUMPKIN JOKES
- What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
- How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? A pumpkin patch.
- What does a pumpkin like to read? Pulp Fiction.
- Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely? The crossing gourd.
- What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
MONSTER JOKES
- Why does Frankenstein’s Monster always finish his dinner first? Because he bolts it down.
- What monster plays tricks on Halloween? Prank-enstein!
- Why was thunder and lightning inside the laboratory? Because Dr. Frankenstein and Igor were brain “storming.”
- What’s big, scary, and has three wheels? A monster riding a tricycle!
- What’s a Goblin’s favorite cheese? Monster-ella.
- Who did the monster take to the Halloween dance? His ghoul friend.
- Who is the best dancer at the monster party? The Boogie Man
- What is a monster’s favorite dessert? Ice Scream!
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MUMMY JOKES
- What kind of music do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music.
- Why don’t mummies take time off? They’re afraid to unwind.
- Why don’t mummies have friends? Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.
Why don’t mummies have friends? Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.
WITCH JOKES
- What do you call a witch who goes to the beach? A sand-witch.
- What kind of food would you find on a haunted beach? A sand-witch!
- What noise does a witch’s breakfast cereal make? Snap, cackle, and pop
- What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
- What do you call two witches living together? Broommates.
- Why was the witch late? Her broom over swept.
- What’s a witch’s favorite makeup? Ma-scare-a.
- What product does a witch use to style her hair? Scarespray!
- How do you make a witch scratch? Take away the ‘w’!
- What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.
MISC FUNNY HALLOWEEN JOKES
- Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Boo! Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s just my Halloween costume!
- Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Phillip! Phillip who? Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!
- Why didn’t the coffee bean go to the Halloween party? Because it was grounded
- What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween? Candy corneas.
- Why did the zombie skip school? He felt rotten.
- What is a zombie’s favorite thing to eat? Brain food.
- Have you heard how popular the local cemetery is? People are just dying to get in.
- Are black cats bad luck? Only if you’re a mouse.
- What fruit do scarecrows love the most? Straw-berries.
- What did the little boy say when she had to choose between a tricycle and candy? Trike or Treat!
- What do birds say on Halloween? Trick or Tweet!
- What does Tweety Bird say on Halloween? Twick or Tweet
- What do owls say when they go trick or treating? “Happy Owl-ween!”
- Why was the candy corn booed off the stage? All of his jokes were too corny!
- What kind of TV do you find in a haunted house? A wide-SCREAM TV
- Two Zombies were invited to a Halloween party. They arrived at a house full of all sorts of scary guests. One of the Zombies said to the other, “A cute girl Zombie just rolled her eyes at me. What do you think I should do?” The other Zombie thought about it for a minute and replied, “Be nice and roll them back over to her!”
How Was Our List Of Funny Halloween Jokes For Kids?
We hope you enjoyed our compilation of funny Halloween jokes for kids. If we left out any of your favorite Halloween dad jokes, then please let us know in the comments. We will add them to this article and give you credit. Thanks for reading and have a Happy Halloween!
I’m a dog owner that loves poetry, vampires, mountain biking, and cosplay. I’m open to ideas and still trying to figure my SFO life out one blog post at a time. LF ISO SWF GSOH SI DDF.
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