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Home : TV & Film : 30 Famous Caddyshack Quotes That’ll Make You Laugh

Caddyshack Quotes
The Best Caddyshack Quotes

30 Famous Caddyshack Quotes That’ll Make You Laugh

An exclusive golf club, Rodney Dangerfield, and a destructive dancing gopher... what could go wrong? These are the best Caddyshack quotes from the classic 1980 film.

May 24, 2023 by Joe Michaels
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Reading Time: 7 minutes

Caddyshack is a classic golf-themed comedy film that is full of quotable one-liners. From Bill Murray to Rodney Dangerfield, the movie’s cast delivers a series of memorable lines that will have you laughing out loud. Here are some of the best Caddyshack quotes that will have you in stitches.

Hooks

  • Al Czervik: The last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

“The last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.” – Rodney Dangerfield Caddyshack Quotes #CaddyshackQuotes #Caddyshack #CaddyshackMovie #AlCzervik
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The Worst-Looking Hat

Caddyshack Hat Quote - Caddyshack Quotes - This Is The Worst-Looking Hat I Ever Saw.
“Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?” – Caddyshack Hat Quote
  • Al Czervik: Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?
  • (Looks at Judge Elihu Smails, who’s wearing the same hat.)
  • Al Czervik: Oh, it looks good on you though.

You Take Drugs?

Famous Caddyshack Quotes - &Quot;You Take Drugs, Danny?&Quot;
“Do you take drugs, Danny?”
  • Ty Webb: You take drugs, Danny?
  • Danny Noonan: Every day.
  • Ty Webb: Good. Then what’s your problem?
  • Danny Noonan: I don’t know.

Whoa, Did Somebody Step On A Duck?

Rodney Dangerfield Farts At The Dinner Table
“Whoa, did somebody step on a duck?” – Rodney Dangerfield Caddyshack Quotes






  • (Breaks wind at dinner.)
  • Al Czervik: Whoa, did somebody step on a duck?

“Whoa, did somebody step on a duck?” – Rodney Dangerfield Quotes From Caddyshack #CaddyshackQuotes #CaddyshackMovie
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Loofah My Stretchmarks

  • Mrs. Smails: Elihu, will you come loofah my stretchmarks?





“Will you come loofah my stretchmarks?” – Famous Caddyshack Quotes #CaddyshackQuotes #Caddyshack
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You Must’ve Been Something Before Electricity

Before Electricity - Caddyshack Quotes Rodney Dangerfield
“Oh, this is your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must’ve been something before electricity.”
  • Al Czervik: Oh, this is your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must’ve been something before electricity.

“Hey baby, you must’ve been something before electricity.” – Rodney Dangerfield’s Best Caddyshack Quotes #CaddyshackQuotes #Caddyshack #RodneyDangerfield
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Low-Grade Dog Food

  • Al Czervik: Hey, doll. Could you scare up another round for our table over here? And tell the cook this is low-grade dog food. I’ve had better food at the ballgame, you know? This steak still has marks from where the jockey was hitting it.

He Thinks I’m His Wife

  • Al Czervik: He called me a baboon. He thinks I’m his wife.

“He called me a baboon. He thinks I’m his wife.” – Rodney Dangerfield Quotes From Caddyshack #CaddyshackQuotes #Caddyshack – #RodneyDangerfield
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Working In A Lumberyard

  • Danny Noonan: I haven’t even told my father about the scholarship I didn’t get. I’m gonna end up working in a lumberyard for the rest of my life.
  • Ty Webb: What’s wrong with lumber? I own two lumberyards.
  • Danny Noonan: I notice you don’t spend too much time there.
  • Ty Webb: I’m not quite sure where they are.

Attractive Women

Funny Caddyshack Quotes: You'Re Rather Attractive...
“You’re rather attractive, for a beautiful girl with a great body.” – Chevy Chase Caddyshack Quotes
  • Ty Webb: You’re rather attractive, for a beautiful girl with a great body.

“You’re rather attractive, for a beautiful girl with a great body.” – Funny Chevy Chase Caddyshack Quotes #CaddyshackQuotes #Caddyshack
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Keeping Score In Golf

  • Judge Smails: Ty, what did you shoot today?
  • Ty Webb: Oh, Judge, I don’t keep score.
  • Judge Smails: Then how do you measure yourself with other golfers?
  • Ty Webb: By height.

Keep Beating Yourself

  • Dr. Beeper: I thought you’d be the man to beat this year.
  • Ty Webb: I guess you’ll just have to keep beating yourself.

Be The Ball Quote

Caddyshack Quotes Be The Ball: Stop Thinking, Let Things Happen And Be The Ball.
Be The Ball
  • Ty Webb: I’m going to give you a little advice. There’s a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.

Be The Ball: Stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball – Caddyshack Movie Quotes #CaddyshackQuotes #BeTheBall
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Will You Mow My Lawn?

  • Judge Smails: Danny, I’m having a party this weekend.
  • (Pauses)
  • Judge Smails: How would you like to come over and mow my lawn?

Three Rights Make A Left

  • Ty Webb: Remember Danny – Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left.

“Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left.” #CaddyshackQuotes
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My Dinghy’s Bigger

Al Czervik: Hey, Smails! My Dinghy'S Bigger Than Your Whole Boat!
“Al Czervik: Hey, Smails! My dinghy’s bigger than your whole boat!”
  • Al Czervik: Hey, Smails! My dinghy’s bigger than your whole boat!

“My dinghy’s bigger than your whole boat!” – Rodney Dangerfield Caddyshack Quotes #CaddyshackQuotes #Caddyshack #RodneyDangerfield
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Total Consciousness

Caddyshack Bill Murray - Caddyshack Quotes Dalai Lama
Bill Murray Caddyshack Quote: Dalai Lama

In one of the most memorable scenes from Caddyshack, Carl Spackler tells a wild story about caddying for the Dalai Lama in Tibet. But when Spackler asked for a tip, the Dalai Lama said that he would receive “total consciousness” when he died. The scene is full of absurdist humor and is a classic example of some of the great Carl Spackler quotes from the film.

  • Carl Spackler: So I jump ship in Hong Kong and I make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas.
  • Angie D’Annunzio: A looper?
  • Carl Spackler: A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking. So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one – big hitter, the Lama – long, into a ten-thousand-foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-lagunga.
  • Carl Spackler: So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey, Dalai Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.” And he says, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.” So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.

“There won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.” – Funny Bill Murray Caddyshack Quotes #TotalConsciousness #Caddyshack
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SEE ALSO: Has The Dalai Lama Ever Seen The Movie Caddyshack?

The Flying WASP

Flying Wasp - Caddyshack Famous Quotes
The Flying WASP
  • Mrs. Smails: Bless this ship and all who sail on her. I christen thee The Flying WASP.

“I christen thee The Flying WASP.” – Famous Quotes From Caddyshack #CaddyshackQuotes #Caddyshack
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Tie Me Up

  • Lacey Underall: I bet you’ve got a lot of nice, ties.
  • Ty Webb: How do you mean?
  • Lacey Underall: Would you like to tie me up with some of your ties, Ty?

Smoking Hybrid Grass

  • Carl Spackler: This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff.

Danish Flutes

Funny Caddyshack Quotes: A Flute With No Holes, Is Not A Flute. A Donut With No Hole Is A Danish.
A flute with no holes, is not a flute. A donut with no hole is a Danish.
  • Ty Webb: Don’t be obsessed with your desires Danny. The Zen philosopher, Basho, once wrote, ‘A flute with no holes, is not a flute. A donut with no hole is a Danish.’ He was a funny guy.

“A flute with no holes, is not a flute. A donut with no hole is a Danish.” – Funny Chevy Chase Caddyshack Quotes
Click To Tweet

Not Being The Ball

  • Ty Webb: Just be the ball, be the ball, be the ball. You’re not being the ball, Danny.
  • Danny Noonan: It’s hard when you’re talking like that.

Credit Trouble

  • Ty Webb: This your place, Carl?
  • Carl Spackler: Yeah, whattaya think?
  • Ty Webb: It’s really… awful.
  • Carl Spackler: Well, I got a lot of stuff on order. You know… credit trouble.

Hunting Season

  • Ty Webb: Let me just clean this up here.
  • (Picks up bow and arrow.)
  • Ty Webb: Getting ready for the season.
  • Lacey Underall: Duck?
  • Ty Webb: No… dolphin.

Your Uncle Molests Collies

  • Lacey Underall: My uncle says you’ve got a screw loose.
  • Ty Webb: Your uncle molests collies.

I Have A Beard – Caddyshack Quotes Bill Murray

I Have A Beard, Which Is Nice - Caddyshack Quotes Bill Murray
“I have a beard, so I got that going for me.”
  • Carl Spackler: I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. But I have a beard, so I got that going for me, which is nice.

Same Thing, But With Gophers

Same Thing But With Gophers - Caddyshack Quotes Bill Murray
Same Thing, But With Gophers
  • Sandy: (With heavy Scottish brogue) Carl, I want you to kill all the gophers on the course.
  • Carl: Correct me if I’m wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they’ll lock me up and throw away the key.
  • Sandy: Not golfers, you great git! Gophers- the little brown, furry rodents!
  • Carl: We can do that. We don’t even have to have a reason.
  • Sandy: Aye! Well, do it, man!
  • Carl: All right. Let’s do the same thing, but with gophers. (Sandy storms off). It’s not my fault nobody can understand what you’re saying.

Freeze Gopher!

Freeze Gopher: Caddyshack Quotes Bill Murray
“Freeze gopher!”
  • Carl Spackler: Pay no attention to that bush, moving around over there by that tree, it’s just a bush. Nothing to look twice at. Nothing to be alarmed about. This looks like it could be gravy. I smell varmint poontang, and the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang. Freeze gopher!

Club Champion

  • Judge Smails: You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he’s been club champion for three years running, and I’m no slouch myself.
  • Ty Webb: Don’t sell yourself, short Judge, you’re a tremendous slouch.

Ditch Diggers

  • Danny Noonan: I planned to go to law school after I graduated, but it looks like my folks won’t have enough money to put me through college.
  • Judge Smails: Well, the world needs ditch diggers, too.
  • Lacey Underall: (To Danny) Nice try.
Ditch Diggers: Caddyshack Quotes
“Well, the world needs ditch diggers, too.”

All The Best Caddyshack Quotes In One Awesome Video

We’ve compiled a list of the best Caddyshack quotes in this article, but you can also watch this companion YouTube clip to see them all in one place. Enjoy!

What Did You Think Of Our List Of Caddyshack Movie Quotes?

Caddyshack was a mega box office hit in 1980, and it skyrocketed the careers of Saturday Night Live alumni Bill Murray and Chevy Chase, as well as director Harold Ramis. The film’s clever script, non-stop jokes, brilliant one-liners, and famous quotes have made it a classic comedy that is still enjoyed by audiences today.

Since Caddyshack’s release, several films, including Happy Gilmore, have used a golf course as a backdrop for comedy. But Caddyshack remains the gold standard for golf-themed comedies.

Are we missing any of your favorite quotes from Caddyshack? Please tell us in the comments below.

NERD NOTE: Harold Ramis, the legendary director behind some of the most iconic comedies like Caddyshack (1980), National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983), Groundhog Day (1993) and Analyze This (1999), sadly passed away on February 24, 2014, due to complications caused by an infection. Although he spent most of his career behind the camera directing films, he also dabbled in acting. He is perhaps most recognized by audiences for his role as Egon in Ghostbusters (1984). Ramis has left a lasting impact on comedy and continues to inspire new filmmakers and comedians, even after his death.

Funny Caddyshack Quotes
Funny Caddyshack Quotes
Funny Caddyshack Quotes

Hilarious Caddyshack Quotes That’ll Brighten Your Day … #CaddyshackQuotes #CaddyshackMovie #Caddyshack #MovieQuotes
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Category: TV & Film, Featured, Humor Tag: Al Czervik, Bill Murray, Caddyshack, Chevy Chase, Dalai Lama, Dali Lama, Danny Noonan, Dr. Beeper, Egon, Flying WASP, Ghostbusters, Gopher, Groundhog Day, Harold Ramis, Himalayas, Judge Smails, Lacey Underall, Movie Quotes, Mrs. Smails, National Lampoon's Vacation, poontang, quotes, Rodney Dangerfield, script, SNL, Ted Knight, Tibet, Ty Webb, varmint, varmint poontang, Wasp
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Comments

  1. Bob

    Apr 22, 2023 at 4:36 PM

    You are in serious need of an editor. Your punctuation sucks b*lls.

  2. methodshop

    May 14, 2016 at 2:26 PM

    “Hey, everybody! We’re all gonna get laid!”

  3. mxjourno10

    May 11, 2015 at 4:05 PM

    by far the best movie from the 1980s!

  4. Josh Barnes

    Mar 3, 2015 at 1:33 AM

    My fav quote = Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

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