101 Excuses For Not Dating A Geek

Need an excuse for not dating a geek? We have 101 listed below. Try one.

I’d love to, but…

1. 1. I think I might be a Cylon.
   2. I have to fluff my shower cap.
   3. I’m thinking about changing my AOL email address.
   4. I want to spend more time with my blender.
   5. I’m rewatching all the live Balloon Boy coverage from every cable news network.
   6. The man on television told me to say tuned.
   7. I’ve been scheduled for a karma transplant.
   8. 4n l33t h4x0r 8 MY 54nDW1cH.
   9. I have to study for a blood test.
   10. I’m staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
   11. It’s my parakeet’s bowling night.
   12. I’m in love with Rachel Maddow.
   13. It wouldn’t be fair to the other Beautiful People.
   14. I’m building a pig from a kit.
   15. I did my own thing and now I’ve got to undo it.
   16. There’s a disturbance in the Force.
   17. I’m doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.
   18. I have to go to the post office to see if I’m still wanted.
   19. I’m teaching my ferret to yodel.
   20. I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
   21. I’m going through cherry cheesecake withdrawl.
   22. I’m planning to go downtown to try on gloves.
   23. My crayons all melted together.
   24. I’ve dedicated my life to linguini.
   25. I’m trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
   26. I have to floss my cat.
   27. I’m getting my overalls overhauled.
   28. My patent is pending.
   29. I’m attending the opening of my garage door.
   30. I’m worried about my vertical hold.
   31. I’m going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.
   32. I’m being deported.
   33. The grunion fish are running.
   34. I’ll be looking for a parking space.
   35. My Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then.
   36. The monsters haven’t turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots.
   37. I’m taking a totem pole carving class.
   38. I’m converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.
   39. I’ve come down with a really horrible case of something or other.
   40. I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
   41. My plot to take over the world is thickening.
   42. I have to fulfill my potential.
   43. I don’t want to leave my comfort zone.
   44. I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.
   45. My subconscious says no.
   46. I’m giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.
   47. I left my body in my other clothes.
   48. The last time I went, I never came back.
   49. I’ve got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting.
   50. None of my socks match.
   51. I have to be on the next train to Bermuda.
   52. I’m really getting into senior sexting.
   53. I changed the lock on my door and now I can’t get out.
   54. I’m making a viral video called “The Thing That Grew in My Refrigerator.”
   55. I’m attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.
   56. My yucca plant is feeling yucky.
   57. I’m touring China with a wok band.
   58. My chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.
   59. I never go out on days that end in “Y.”
   60. My mother would never let me hear the end of it.
   61. I’m really busy planning a vacation to Afganistan.
   62. I just picked up a book called “Glue in Many Lands” and I can’t put it down.
   63. I’m waiting for Chevy Chase to be funny again.
   64. I have to wash/condition/perm/curl/tease/torment my hair.
   65. I have too much guilt.
   66. There are important world issues that need worrying about.
   67. I have already have a date tonight with Teddy Ruxpin.
   68. I’m uncomfortable when I’m alone or with others.
   69. I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
   70. I feel a song coming on.
   71. I’m trying to be less popular.
   72. My bathroom tiles need grouting.
   73. I have to bleach my hair.
   74. I’m waiting to see if I’m already a winner.
   75. I’m writing a love letter to David Hasselhoff.
   76. You know how we psychos are.
   77. My favorite commercial is on TV.
   78. I’m enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.
   79. I’m going to be old someday.
   80. I’ve been traded to Cincinnati.
   81. I’m observing National Apathy Week.
   82. I have to rotate my crops.
   83. My uncle escaped again.
   84. I’m up to my elbows in waxy buildup.
   85. I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar.
   86. I’m having my baby shoes bronzed.
   87. I have to go to court for kitty littering.
   88. I’m going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
   89. I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.
   90. Having fun gives me prickly heat.
   91. I’m going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me.
   92. I have to jog my memory.
   93. My palm reader advised against it.
   94. My Dress For Obscurity class meets then.
   95. I have to stay home and see if I snore.
   96. I prefer to remain an enigma.
   97. I think you want the OTHER (your name).
   98. I have to sit up with a sick ant.
   99. I’m trying to cut down.
   100. You smell like bacon.
   101. … well, maybe.

NERD NOTE: The word geek is a slang term, noting individuals as “a peculiar or otherwise odd person, especially one who is perceived to be overly obsessed with one or more things including those of intellectuality, electronics, etc.” Formerly, the term referred to a carnival performer often billed as a wild man whose act usually includes biting the head off a live chicken, bat, snake or bugs.