20 Excellent Bill And Ted Quotes

Back in 1989, Bill and Ted took the world by storm and quickly became one of the most lovable and quotable pair of dummies in cinema history. Today let’s celebrate them by remembering these Bill and Ted quotes.

The Best Bill And Ted Quotes From All 3 Of Their Movies

Here are our favorite Bill and Ted quotes from their excellent films Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989), Bill And Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991), and Bill And Ted Face The Music (2020).

“69, Dudes!”

Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

• Ted: Okay, if you guys are really us… what number are we thinking of?
• Future Bill and Ted: 69, dudes!

“Iron Maiden? Excellent!”

Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

• Duke: Put them in the Iron Maiden!
• Ted: Iron Maiden??
• Bill and Ted: EXCELLENT!
• Duke: Execute them.
• Bill and Ted: BOGUS!

“You Were Supposed To Unite The World In Song”

Bill And Ted Face The Music (2020)

• The Great Leader: Twenty-five years ago, Wyld Stallyns played a concert at the Grand Canyon.
• Bill: That’s true.
• The Great Leader: One month ago, you played the Elks Lodge in Barstow, California, for forty people, most of whom were there only because it was two-dollar taco night, whatever the hell that means.
• Bill, Ted: Well, yeah. We did!
• The Great Leader: You were supposed to unite the world in song.

“San Dimas High School Football Rules!”

Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

• Ox Robbins: Everything is different, but the same… things are more moderner than before… bigger, and yet smaller… it’s computers… San Dimas High School football rules.

“We Got Totally Lied To By Our Album Covers”

Bill And Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991)

• Dead Bill: (After seeing hell) We got totally lied to by our album covers, man.

“Ted And I Have Known Missy In Different Capacities For Many Decades”

Bill And Ted Face The Music (2020)

• Bill: (Bill and Ted are giving a wedding toast) Hello, friends and loved ones.
• Ted: Let us welcome you to this most joyous of occasions.
• Bill: Ted and I have known Missy in different capacities for many decades. First, she was our babysitter when we were 10.
• Ted: Then we both invited her to the prom when she was a senior and we were freshmen.
• Bill: Two years later, she married my dad, and Missy became Mom.
• Ted: After divorcing Bill’s dad, she married my dad and became my mom.
• Bill: Yeah. And now she’s marrying Ted’s little brother, Officer Deacon Logan.
• (Missy and Deacon kiss as the crowd applauds)
• Ted: Missy, Bill and I, along with my beautiful wife Elizabeth and our daughter Billie…
• Bill: …and my beautiful wife Joanna and our daughter Thea, all wanna welcome you back…
• Bill, Ted: (In unison) … with open arms!
• Bill: This happy event would seem to make Deacon his own father-in-law. And Ted his own uncle.
• Ted: Not to mention making my dad his own son.

“He Didn’t Even Card Us”

Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

• Ted: Whoa… He didn’t even card us, dude.
• Bill: Yeah, we have to remember this place.

“All We Are Is Dust In The Wind”

Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

• Bill: How’s it going? I’m Bill, this is Ted. We’re from the future!
• Socrates: Socrates.
• Ted: (Turns to Bill) Now what?
• Bill: I don’t know… philosophize with him.
• Ted: *Ahem* All we are is dust in the wind, dude.
• Bill: (Scoops up dirt and starts to pour it out of his hand) Dust.
• Bill:  (Blows the dust away) Wind.
• Ted: (Points at Socrates) Dude.
• Socrates: (Astonished look on his face) Ooh!

NERD NOTE: One of the best Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure quotes is actually a song lyric from the rock band Kansas. “All we are is dust in the wind” is a line from the song “Dust in the Wind” from Kansas’ 1977 album “Point of Know Return“.

“We Love Them”

Bill And Ted Face The Music (2020)

• Dr. Taylor Wood: Ted, is there something you feel your wife needs to hear from you?
• Ted: Yeah. Totally.
• Ted: (Turns to his wife Elizabeth) We love you guys.
• Bill: Aww, that is good, dude!
• Dr. Taylor Wood: In a way, yes. I mean, it is great to feel loved. But do you understand how that might sound strange to your wives? I’ll shoot this at Bill.
• Bill: No. I mean, we love ’em.
• Dr. Taylor Wood: Oh. “We love them.”
• Bill: Yeah.
• Ted: Yeah, we do.
• Dr. Taylor Wood: Okay. It’s the “we” part. Um… Ted, can you say the same thing, but instead of “we”, say “I” in the sentence?
• Ted: Oh. Yeah. Of course. (Turns back to Elizabeth) Elizabeth?
• Elizabeth: Yes?
• Ted: I and Bill love you and Joanna.
• Elizabeth: (Chagrinned) Okay.
• Bill: (Whispering) Dude, with all due respect, I don’t think you’re quite getting this.
• Ted: (Whispering) Go for it, dude.
• Bill: Okay. I’m gonna do one.
• Dr. Taylor Wood: Yes. Go for it, dude.
• Bill: Okay. (Turns to Joanna, clears his throat, and takes a deep breath) Joanna?
• Joanna: Mmm-hmm?
• Bill: From the very, very bottom of I and Ted’s hearts, I and Ted totally love and worship you and Elizabeth.
• Ted: Perfect, dude.
• Bill: Awesome, dude, thanks.

“I Totally Possessed My Dad!”

Bill And Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991)

• Dead Ted: I totally possessed my dad!

“What Is A ‘Geek’?”

Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

• Girl: Oh, my God!
• Sigmund Freud: You both seem to be suffering from a mild form of hysteria.
• Girl: You are such a geek! (walks away)
• Billy the Kid: Way to go, egghead!
• Socrates: (laughing) Geek!!
• Sigmund Freud: What is a geek?

“It is indeed a pleasure to introduce to you a gentleman we picked up in medieval Mongolia in the year 1269. Mr. Genghis Khan!”

Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

• Bill: It is indeed a pleasure to introduce to you a gentleman we picked up in medieval Mongolia in the year 1269.
• Ted: Please welcome the very excellent barbarian…
• Bill and Ted: MR. GENGHIS KHAN! (students applaud)
• Ted: This is a dude who, 700 years ago, totally ravaged China, and who, we were told 2 hours ago, totally ravaged Oshman’s Sporting Goods!

“Who Was Joan Of Arc? … Noah’s wife!”

Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

• Mr. Ryan: Ted, stand up.
• Ted: Stand up?
• Mr. Ryan: Yes, son. Stand up. (Ted stands up)
• Mr. Ryan: Now, who was Joan of Arc?
• Ted: … Noah’s wife! (Classroom fills with laughter)

“You Ditched Napoleon?”

Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

• Bill: You ditched Napoleon?
• Ted: Deacon, do you realize you have just stranded one of Europe’s greatest leaders in San Dimas?
• Deacon: He was a d**k.

The “Eddie Van Halen vs Triumphant Video” Debate

Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

• Bill: Ted, while I agree that, in time, our band will be most triumphant. The truth is, Wyld Stallyns will never be a super band until we have Eddie Van Halen on guitar.
• Ted: Yes, Bill. But, I do not believe we will get Eddie Van Halen until we have a triumphant video.
• Bill: Ted, it’s pointless to have a triumphant video before we even have decent instruments.
• Ted: Well, how can we have decent instruments when we don’t really even know how to play?
• Bill: That is why we need Eddie Van Halen!
• Ted: And THAT is why we need a triumphant video!
• Both: EXCELLENT! (Air guitars)

“I Can’t Believe Missy Divorced Your Dad And Married Mine”

Bill And Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991)

• Ted: I can’t believe Missy divorced your Dad and married mine.
• Bill: Shut up, Ted.

“We Are In Danger Of Flunking Most Heinously”

Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

• Bill: We are in danger of flunking most heinously tomorrow, Ted.

“I Got A Full On Robot Chubby”

Bill And Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991)

• Evil Ted: Dude! (Looks at a picture of Bill and Ted’s girlfriends.)
• Evil Bill: What?
• Evil Ted: I got a full-on robot chubby.
• Evil Bill: Later, Evil Ted. Later.

“Strange Things Are Afoot At The Circle K”

Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

• Ted: Bill?
• Bill: What?
• Ted: Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.

“Be Excellent To Each Other”

Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

• Bill: Be excellent to each other.
• Ted: Party on dudes!

Bill And Ted: A Most Excellent Movie Franchise

We all remember the struggles of writing a history report, albeit with our best friend of equal intelligence (or lack thereof); but these two shouldn’t have even been let in the same classroom! Thank the Lord for Rufus, who provided a time machine so that our Wyld Stallyns could rock out on these adventures for the ages!

We hope you enjoyed these Bill and Ted quotes. With three films in this series, there’s a lot to choose from. If we left out any of your favorite Bill and Ted quotes, then please let us know in the comments.

• Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure
• Bill And Ted’s Bogus Journey
• Bill And Ted Face The Music (aka Bill And Ted 3)

Be sure to check out our other articles on quotes from other “excellent” 80s cult movies. Also, find us on Twitter at @methodshop as well as Facebook and Pinterest.