The cult-classic film, The Princess Bride, is one of the most quoted movies of the 1980s. It has fueled hundreds of trivia nights, led to many bedtime story sessions with kids, and is one of the most popular fairy tales to come out of modern literature and film culture. The 1987 romantic comedy fantasy adventure film stars Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Mandy Patinkin, Chris Sarandon, Wallace Shawn, André the Giant, and Christopher Guest.
You have probably watched The Princess Bride countless times and can quote all of your favorite lines verbatim, but here are a few Princess Bride quotes that we think everyone should know and remember.
What Makes A Good Book
- Grandpa: Westley didn’t reach his destination. His ship was attacked by the Dread Pirate Roberts, who never left captives alive. When Buttercup got the news that Westley was murdered…
- Grandson: Murdered by pirates is good.
The Heroes Always Survive… Sometimes
- Buttercup: We’ll never survive.
- Westley: Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.
Life Is Pain
- Buttercup: You mock my pain.
- Man in Black: Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling.
The Battle Of Witts
- Man in Black: All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink and find out who is right… and who is dead.
- Vizzini: But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy’s? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
- Man in Black: You’ve made your decision then?
- Vizzini: Not remotely. Because Iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
- Man in Black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Never Get Involved In A Land War In Asia
- Vizzini: You fell victim to one of the classic blunders — the most famous of which is, “Never get involved in a land war in Asia” — but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line”! Ha ha ha ha ha haha! Haha ha ha ha haha! Ha ha ha… (Thunk. Vizzini falls over dead.)
Inconceivable!
- Vizzini: He didn’t fall?! Inconceivable!
- Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Everything Is A Trap
- Count Rugen: Could this be a trap?
- Prince Humperdinck: I always think everything could be a trap, which is why I’m still alive.
Mawage: Bringing Us Together
- Impressive Clergyman: Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder today. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam…
- Prince Humperdinck: Skip to the end.
- Impressive Clergyman: Have you the wing?
NERD NOTE: The films The Princess Bride and Spinal Tap were both directed by the same person, Rob Reiner. Some of his other notable films include Stand By Me, When Harry Met Sally… and The Bucket List.
Hello, My Name Is Inigo Montoya…
- Inigo Montoya: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
- Count Rugen: Stop saying that!
NERD NOTE: In 2012, actor Mandy Patinkin who plays the role of Inigo Montoya in The Princess Bride, told New York Magazine that 2-3 strangers a day quote the line “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya…” back at him every day. Patinkin loves hearing the line and is happy about his role in the movie. He compares it to being in a modern-day Wizard Of Oz.
I’m Not Left Handed
- Inigo Montoya: You are wonderful.
- Man in Black: Thank you; I’ve worked hard to become so.
- Inigo Montoya: I admit it, you are better than I am.
- Man in Black: Then why are you smiling?
- Inigo Montoya: Because I know something you don’t know.
- Man in Black: And what is that?
- Inigo Montoya: I am not left-handed. (Switches sword to his other hand, and begins to fight far more successfully.)
- Man in Black: You are amazing.
- Inigo Montoya: I ought to be, after 20 years.
- Man in Black: Oh, there’s something I ought to tell you.
- Inigo Montoya: Tell me.
- Man in Black: I’m not left-handed either. (Switches his own sword to his other hand, suddenly driving Inigo back.)
As You Wish
- Grandpa: Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around.
- Buttercup: Farm boy, polish my horse’s saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.
- Westley: As you wish.
- Grandpa: “As you wish” was all he ever said to her.
A Couple Of Decent Fellows
- Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
- The Man in Black: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.
Have Fun Storming The Castle
- Valerie: Bye bye boys!
- Miracle Max: Have fun storming the castle!
- Valerie: Think it will work?
- Miracle Max: It’ll take a miracle.
Dreaming Of Large Women
- Man in Black: I do not envy you the headache you will have when you awake. But for now, rest well and dream of large women.
Masks Are Terribly Comfortable
- Fezzik: Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid or something like that?
- Man in Black: Oh no, it’s just that they’re terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.
Too Much Kissing
- Grandson: They’re kissing again. Do we have to read the kissing parts?
NERD NOTE: Robin Wright (Princess Buttercup) and Cary Elwes (Westley) had chemistry both on and off the film set. Wright told ABC News that she was worried that people could see her heart beating fast because she thought Elwes was so cute. The feeling was mutual. Elwes said that he “couldn’t concentrate on much of anything after that first encounter with Robin.” The two actors enjoyed their time together on set and were very reluctant to film the “Horseback Kiss,” their final scene together. Wright and Elwes keep creating fake excuses so they could shoot the kissing scene over and over again.
Finish Him, Your Way
- Vizzini: Finish him. Finish him, your way.
- Fezzik: Oh good, my way. Thank you Vizzini… what’s my way?
- Vizzini: Pick up one of those rocks, get behind a boulder, in a few minutes the man in black will come running around the bend, the minute his head is in view, hit it with the rock.
- Fezzik: My way’s not very sportsman-like.
No More Rhymes, I Mean It
- Inigo Montoya: That Vizzini, he can fuss.
- Fezzik: Fuss, fuss… I think he likes to scream at us.
- Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no harm.
- Fezzik: He’s really very short on charm.
- Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.
- Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.
- Vizzini: Enough of that.
- Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
- Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead.
- Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it.
- Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?
Dog Paddle
- Vizzini: Jump in after her!
- Inigo Montoya: I don’t swim
- Fezzik: I only dog paddle.
- Vizzini: AGGHH!
There’s A Shortage Of Perfect Breasts In This World
- (Princess picks up a dagger and holds it to her chest to commit suicide.)
- Westley: There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.
NERD NOTE: A lot of different actresses were considered for the role of Princess Buttercup. Author of The Princess Bride, William Goldman, wanted Carrie Fisher. Courteney Cox, Meg Ryan, Uma Thurman, and Whoopi Goldberg all auditioned for the role. But ultimately, Robin Wright was cast as Princess Buttercup.
The Best Princess Bride Quotes
The Princess Bride is a true classic and has a fabulous script full of great quotable lines. If you liked these Princess Bride quotes, then be sure to check out some of our other movie quote articles.
Related Articles:
5 Funny Resurrection Jokes To Share On Easter Sunday
→