October is full of so many fun Halloween activities. Between planning your Halloween costume to your Halloween party playlist, there’s so many great activities that take place in just a few short weeks. If you have kids, then Halloween wouldn’t be complete without some corny Halloween dad jokes. Skeleton jokes, ghost jokes, pumpkin jokes, vampire jokes… we’ve got ’em all! So print out, or try to memorize some of these funny Halloween jokes for kids before your next Halloween party (IRL or virtual).
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to school? His heart wasn’t in it.
- Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? He didn’t have the guts.
- What instrument does a skeleton play? The trombone.
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to dance with.
- Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love.
- Why do skeletons stay so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
- What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper.
- What do skeletons order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
- Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? Because there was no body on the other side.
- Why did the skeleton climb a tree? Because a dog was after his bones!
- What does a skeleton say before dinner? Bone-appetit!
- A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer… and mop. (switch both “bar” and “beer” to “restaurant” and “milk” to make this a more kid friendly Halloween joke)
- Why don’t vampires have more friends? Because they are a pain in the neck.
- What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
- Where do vampires keep their money? The blood bank.
- Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana Who? Ivana suck your blood!
- How can you tell if a vampire is sick? He starts coffin!
- What do you give a vampire when he’s sick? Coffin-drops.
- What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
- What happens when a vampire hunts in the snow? Frostbite!
- Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
- How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
- What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A grave problem.
- How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
- What kind of tests do vampires give their students? Blood tests.
- What kind of dog does Dracula have? A blood hound.
- What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
- What type of coffee does a vampire drink? De-coffin-ated!
- What do you get when you cross a very strict school teacher with a vampire? Lots of blood tests!
- What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal? A steak!
- What do ghosts wash their hair with? Sham-BOO!
- Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-BOO!
- What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
- Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos. (booze; sorry this Halloween joke isn’t kid friendly)
- What is in a ghost’s nose? Boooooo-gers.
- What is a ghost’s nose full of? Boooooo-gers!
- What kinds of pants do ghosts wear? Boooooo-jeans. (blue jeans)
- What’s a Ghost’s favorite yogurt flavor? Booooo-berry
- Where do fashionable ghosts shop? Bootiques!
- Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween? It didn’t have a haunting license.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? Ice Scream!
- Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centers!
- What room does a ghost not need? A living room.
- What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist. (missed)
- What position does a ghost play in hockey? Ghoulie.
- Why do ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures. (girlish figures)
- Why do ghosts and ghouls hang out together? Because ghosts are a ghoul’s best friend!
- Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders? Because they have a lot of spirit!
- Why are ghosts so bad at lying? Because you can see right through them!
- What theme park rides do ghosts like the most? The Roller-GHOSTER and the Scary-Go-Round!
- What kind of mistake does a ghost make? A boo-boo!
- What game do young ghosts like to play? Hide and shriek!
- Where do ghosts buy their Halloween candy? At the ghost-ery store!
- What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost? “You sure are boo-tiful!”
- What’s a ghost’s favorite type of pasta? Spookghetti
FUNNY PUMPKIN JOKES
- What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
- How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? A pumpkin patch.
- What does a pumpkin like to read? Pulp Fiction.
- Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely? The crossing gourd.
- Why does Frankenstein’s Monster always finish his dinner first? Because he bolts it down.
- What monster plays tricks on Halloween? Prank-enstein!
- What is a monster’s favorite dessert? Ice Scream!
- Why was there thunder and lightning inside the laboratory? Because Dr. Frankenstein and Igor were brain “storming.”
- What’s big, scary and has three wheels? A monster riding a tricycle!
- What kind of music do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music.
- Why don’t mummies take time off? They’re afraid to unwind.
- Why don’t mummies have friends? Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.
- What do you call a witch who goes to the beach? A sand-witch.
- What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.
- What kind of food would you find on a haunted beach? A sand-witch!
- What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
- What do you call two witches living together? Broommates.
- Why was the witch late? Her broom over swept.
- What’s a witch’s favorite makeup? Ma-scare-a.
- What product does a witch use to style her hair? Scarespray!
- How do you make a witch scratch? Take away the ‘w’!
MISC FUNNY HALLOWEEN JOKES
- Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Boo! Boo who? Don’t cry … it’s just my Halloween costume!
- Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Phillip! Phillip who? Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!
- Why didn’t the coffee bean go to the Halloween party? Because it was grounded
- What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween? Candy corneas.
- Why did the zombie skip school? He felt rotten.
- What is a zombie’s favorite thing to eat? Brain food.
- Have you heard how popular the local cemetery is? People are just dying to get in.
- Are black cats bad luck? Only if you’re a mouse.
- What fruit do scarecrows love the most? Straw-berries.
- What did the little boy say when she had to choose between a tricycle and candy? Trike or Treat!
- What do birds say on Halloween? Trick or Tweet!
- What do owls say when they go trick or treating? “Happy Owl-ween!”
- Why was the candy corn booed off the stage? All of his jokes were too corny!
- Two Zombies were invited to a Halloween party. They arrived to a house full of all sorts of scary guests. One of the Zombies said to the other, “A cute girl Zombie just rolled her eyes at me. What do you think I should do?” The other Zombie thought about it for a minute and replied, “Be nice and roll them back over to her!”
How Was Our List Of Funny Halloween Jokes For Kids?
We hope you enjoyed our compilation of funny Halloween jokes for kids. If we left out any of your favorite Halloween dad jokes, then please let us know in the comments. We will add it to this article and give you credit. Thanks for reading! Happy Halloween!