130 Best Yo Mama Jokes Of All Time (NSFW)

Reading Time: 8 minutes

Mom jokes, especially “Yo Mama Jokes”, are part of every grade and middle school student’s schoolyard curriculum.

At their core, funny “your mom jokes” usually fall into 3 main categories: fat, stupid, and ugly. But there are plenty of variations and twists, like Yo Mama’s so poor, short, old, etc. Here are the funniest Your Mama Jokes of all time.

Yo Mama’s So Fat Jokes

1. Yo Mama’s so fat, her belt size is “Equator.”
2. Yo Momma is so fat, when she sat on an iPod, she made the iPad!
3. Yo Mama’s so fat, when she fell I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
4. Your Mama’s so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
5. Yo Momma’s so fat, when she turned around we gave her a Welcome Back Party.
6. Yo Mama’s so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
7. Yo Momma is so fat, when she went to KFC, the cashier asked, “What size bucket?” and she said, “The one on the roof.”
8. Yo Momma is so fat, when she sat down at Walmart, she lowered the prices.
9. Yo Mama is so fat, when she took her dress to the dry cleaners they said, “Sorry, we don’t do curtains.”
10. Yo Mama’s so fat, when she buys a fur coat, animals go extinct.

11. Yo Mama’s so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
12. Yo Momma is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight, not your phone number.”
13. Yo Mama’s so fat, she stepped on a scale, and it said: “To be continued…”
14. Yo Momma is so fat, when she steps on the scale, it says, “Get off!”
15. Yo Mama is so fat, when she stepped on a scale it said, “One person at a time please.”

16. Yo Mama’s so fat, she needs cheat codes for Wii Fit.
17. Yo Momma’s so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
18. Yo Mama’s so fat I tried driving around her and I ran out of gas.
19. Yo Mama’s so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.
20. Yo Mama’s so fat, that when she went to the zoo, the hippos got jealous.
21. Yo Mamma is so fat she doesn’t need the Internet, because she’s already worldwide.
22. Yo Mama’s so fat, when she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
23. Yo Mama’s so fat, she hasn’t seen her toes since high school.
24. Yo Momma is so fat, Dora can’t even explore her!
25. Yo Momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it’s still printing.
26. Yo Mama’s so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she’s known as the Republic of Yo Mama.
27. Yo Momma’s so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell, “TAXI!”
28. Yo Mama’s so fat, her car has stretch marks.
29. Yo Momma’s so fat, she fell out of the family tree.
30. Yo Mama’s so fat, she can’t even jump to a conclusion.
31. Yo Mama’s so fat, her blood type is Ragù.
32. Yo Mama’s so fat, if she was a Star Wars character, her name would be Admiral Snackbar.
33. Yo Mama’s so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.
34. Yo Mama is so fat, when she pressed the UP button on the elevator it went DOWN.
35. Yo Mama’s so fat, she has more rolls than a bakery.
36. Yo Mama’s so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
37. Yo Mama’s so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing, but the ground was cracking up.
38. Yo Mama is so fat, on Halloween she threw on a white sheet and went as Antarctica.
39. Yo Mama’s so fat, when I said I wanted “pigs in a blanket,” she got back in bed.
40. Yo Momma’s so fat, when she registered for MySpace there was no space left.
41. Yo Mama is so fat, that when she went to the movie theater she sat next to everybody.
42. Your Mama’s so fat, she takes selfies in panoramic mode.
43. Yo Momma’s so fat, her shadow has weight.
44. Yo Mama’s so fat, she has her own zip code.
45. Yo Mamma’s so fat, I don’t have to make a joke.
46. Your Momma is so fat, her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
47. Yo Mama is so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.

Yo Mama’s So Stupid Jokes

48. Yo Mama’s so dumb, she tried to make an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
49. Yo Mama’s so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
50. Yo Mama’s so stupid, she thought Bruno Mars was a planet.
51. Yo Mama is so stupid, it took her nine months to make a joke… you!
52. Yo Mamma so stupid, she tried to put M&M‘s in alphabetical order.
53. Yo Mama’s so stupid, she stared at a cup of orange juice for hours because it said “concentrate.”
54. Yo Mama’s so stupid, she studies for a blood test.
55. Your Momma’s so stupid, when you said it was chilly outside she grabbed a bowl.
56. Yo Mama’s so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
57. Yo Mama’s so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
58. Yo Mama’s so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
59. Yo Mama is so stupid, when she gave birth to you, she asked for a receipt!
60. Yo Mama’s so stupid, she stuck a phone up her butt and thought she was making a booty call!
61. Yo Mama’s so stupid, when they said, “Order in the court,” she asked for fries and a shake.
62. Yo Mama’s so stupid, when her car ran out of gas she farted in the tank.
63. Yo Mama’s so dumb, Rebecca Black had to teach her the days of the week.
64. Yo Mama’s so stupid, when the mailman asked her why she was yelling in her mailbox, she said, “Sending a voicemail.”
65. Yo Mama’s so dumb, when I said, “Drinks on the house,” she got a ladder.
66. Yo Mama’s so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
67. Yo Mamma’s so stupid, she put a quarter in the parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out.
68. Yo Mama’s so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
69. Yo Mama’s so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it
70. Yo Mama’s so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
71. Yo Mama’s so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
72. Yo Mama’s so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
73. Yo Mama’s so stupid, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.
74. Yo Mama’s so stupid, when I said, “Drinks on the house,” she got a ladder.
75. Yo Mama’s so stupid, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
76. Yo Mama’s so stupid, she tried to mail a letter using food stamps.
77. Yo Momma is so stupid, she dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave to call the Police.
78. Yo Mama’s so dumb, she tried to surf a microwave.

Yo Mama’s Is So Ugly Jokes

79. Yo Mamma is so ugly, even Hello Kitty said, “Goodbye” to her.
80. Yo Mamma is so ugly, when she tried to join an ugly, contest, they said, “Sorry, no professionals.”
81. Yo Mama’s so ugly, they filmed “Gorillas in the Mist” in her shower.
82. Yo Mama’s so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
83. Yo Mama’s so ugly, she threw a boomerang, and it refused to come back.
84. Yo Mama’s so ugly, when she went into a haunted house she came out with a job application.
85. Yo Mama’s so ugly, she gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
86. Yo Mama’s so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
87. Yo Momma’s teeth are so yellow, that when she smiles, traffic slows down!
88. Yo Mamma is so ugly, when she took a bath the water jumped out.
89. Yo Mama’s so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
90. Yo Mama’s so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.
91. Your Momma is so ugly, she made One Direction go another direction.
92. Your Momma’s so ugly, when she goes into a strip club, they pay her to keep her clothes on.
93. Yo Mamma’s so ugly, when her house was being robbed, the mugger took off his mask and made her wear it.
94. Yo Momma is so ugly, she turned Medusa into stone.
95. Yo Mama’s so ugly, when she was little, she had to trick-or-treat by phone.
96. Yo Mama’s so ugly, her birth certificate is an apology letter.
97. Yo Momma is so ugly, her parents had to feed her with a slingshot.
98. Yo Mama’s so ugly, she looked out the window and was arrested for mooning.
99. Yo Mama is so ugly, she made my happy meal cry
100. Yo Mama’s so ugly, the Terminator said, “I won’t be back.”
101. Yo Mama’s so ugly, that her pillows cry.
102. Yo Mama’s so ugly, she made an onion cry.

Yo Mama Is So Hairy Jokes

103. Yo Mama’s armpits are so hairy, it looks like she’s got Bigfoot in a headlock.
104. Yo Mama is so hairy, she shaves with a weed wacker.
105. Yo Momma is so hairy, when she went to the movie theater to see Star Wars, everybody screamed “IT’S CHEWBACCA!”

Yo Mama Is So Short Jokes

106. Yo Momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa, he said, “Go back to work!”
107. Yo Mama’s so short, she trips on her tampon string.
108. Yo Momma is so short, you can see her feet in her driver’s license photo.

Yo Mama Is So Old Jokes

109. Yo Mama is so old, her memory is in black and white.
110. Yo Mama’s so old, her social security number is one.
111. Yo Mama’s so old, they had to take her tampon to the natural history museum to find out what period it came from.
112. Yo Mama’s so fat and old, when God said, “Let there be light,” he asked your mother to move out of the way.
113. Yo Mama’s so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
114. Your Momma is so old, when her breast milk comes out it’s powder.
115. Yo Mamma is so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
116. Yo Mama’s so old, she used to babysit Jesus.
117. Your Momma is so old, she has an autographed copy of the Bible.
118. Yo Mama’s so old, she was told to act her own age, and she died.
119. Yo Mama is so old, the key on Ben Franklin’s kite was to her apartment.

Yo Mama Is So Nasty Jokes

120. Yo Mama’s so ugly, she made an onion cry.
121. Yo Mama’s cooking so nasty, flys got together and fixed the hole in the window screen.

Your Mom Is So Poor Jokes

122. Yo Momma is so poor, when I asked her why she was kicking a trash can, she said, “I’m moving.”
123. Your mom is so poor, she can’t even pay attention!
124. Your mom is so poor, when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people’s fingers!
125. Your Mom is so poor, when she heard about the Last Supper, she thought she was running out of food stamps!
126. Your Mom is so poor, she opened a Gmail account just so she could eat the spam!

127. Yo Mama is so poor, she waves around a popsicle and calls it air conditioning.
128. Your Mom is so poor, she uses Cheerios for earrings.
129. Your Mom is so poor, she walks around with one shoe. But if you ask her if she lost a shoe, she says, “No I found one!”
130. Your Mom is so poor, the ducks throw bread at her!

More Funny Yo Momma Jokes?

Except for home school kids, we’ve all probably spent time in a school yard verbally attacking someone else’s mom. It doesn’t hurt to be prepared. Hopefully these Mom jokes helped.

What did you think about our collection of Yo Mama Jokes? Did we not include one of your favorites? Please let us know in the comments.