Paris Hilton Says She Is Too Beautiful For Jail

Terrified that her 45-day prison sentence for drunk driving will plunge her into a world of daily beatings, group showers and a total absence of anything that’s even vaguely “hot,” Paris Hilton is doing all she can to get out of jail before she even goes in.

Paris Hilton’s “Stay Out Of Jail” Strategy

So what does Paris have up her sleeve? What is she doing to stay out of the Century Regional Detention Facility?

• Expensive legal advice from a team of the world’s most expensive lawyers? …Nope.
  
• Displaying genuine remorse for her crime in order to show the appeals court that she’s learned her lesson? …Are you kidding?
• Film another sex tape with Rick Salomon? …Hmmm, interesting idea.
• A half-baked MySpace petition? Bingo!

Save Paris Hilton from Jail MySpace Petition

The ‘Save Paris Hilton from Jail MySpace Petition’, calls on California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to terminate her jail sentence because she “provides beauty and excitement” to everyone’s lives. This is what the petition says:

“Paris Whitney Hilton is an American celebrity and socialite. She is an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, as well as to the real estate fortune of her father Richard Hilton. She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives… We, the American public who support Paris, are shocked, dismayed and appalled by how Paris has been the person to be used as an example that Drunk Driving is wrong… This petition is to ask Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon Paris Hilton for her mistake. Please allow her to her return to her career and life.”

If you are interested, you can sign the ‘Save Paris Hilton from Jail MySpace Petition’ here. Or you could just go read about her 2003 sex tape.

Via hecklerspray.com