The 30 Best Goonies Quotes

What does Steven Spielberg‘s classic film The Goonies (1985) have in common with Lethal Weapon (1987), Superman (1978), and the scary horror flick The Omen (1976)? They were all directed by Richard Donner. The films also have similar “good vs evil” storylines. The formula is simple: Colorful bad guys (the Fratelli brothers and their villainous mother) + a reluctant-hero (the Walsh brothers and their Goonie friends) + tons of memorable dialogue like all of the corny famous Goonies quotes and one-liners.

The Best Goonies Quotes

There are so many great Goonies quotes that it’s hard to pick out just the best Chunk quotes or best Sloth quotes or best Data quotes, but we hope you like our selection. Here are the best Goonies quotes from Steven Spielberg‘s classic 1985 kid adventure, The Goonies.

Pampers

• Elgin Perkins: Is your mommy here?
• Brandon Walsh: No, sir. Actually, she’s out at the market buying Pampers for all us kids.

Babysitting

• Stef: This is ridiculous. It’s crazy. I feel like I’m babysitting, except I’m not getting paid.

Chunk’s Confession Goonies

• Francis Fratelli: (The Fratellis are interrogating Chunk) Tell us everything! Everything!
• Chunk: Everything. OK! I’ll talk! In 3rd grade, I cheated on my history exam. In 4th grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee, and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In 5th grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs, and I blamed it on the dog. When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids, and then they served lunch I got nuts, and I pigged out, and they kicked me out. But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home, and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: Hua-Hua-Hua-Hua-ahh — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible; all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
• Jake Fratelli: I’m beginning to like this kid, Ma!

Booty Traps

• Stef: Data, where are you going?
• Data: I’m setting booty traps.
• Stef: You mean booby traps?
• Data: THAT’S WHAT I SAID! BOOBY TRAPS! God. These Guys!

Thirsty?

• Mouth: Is this supposed to be water?
• Mama Fratelli: It’s wet, ain’t it? Drink it!

Neighborhood Motto: The Goonies Never Say Die

• Mikey Walsh: Goonies never say die!

Hey You Guys!

This one is probably the most famous out of all of the Sloth Goonies quotes.

• Sloth: Hey, you guys!!

B Flat

• Andy: I can’t tell if it’s an “A sharp” or if it’s a “B flat”!
• Mikey: Heh, if you hit the wrong note, we’ll all “B flat!”

Shame, Shame!

• Brand and Andy are about to kiss after falling down together.
• Chunk: Shame, shame!
• Data Wang: I know your name!
• Mouth: Come on, Brand! Slip her the tongue!
• Stef: Oh, that’s disgusting. Now I can’t even look.

Chester Copperpot

• Mikey Walsh: (Whispering to himself) Chester Copperpot. Chester Copperpot… (Out loud) Chester Copperpot! Don’t you guys see? Don’t you realize? He was a pro. He never made it this far. Look how far we’ve come. We’ve got a chance.

Troy’s Bucket & This Is Our Time

• Mikey: Don’t you realize? The next time you see the sky, it’ll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it’ll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the best of stuff for us. But right now, they got to do what’s right for them because it’s their time. Their time! Up there! Down here, it’s our time. It’s our time down here. That’s all over the second we ride up “Troy’s bucket.”

Chunk Confession Quote

• Chunk: Listen, okay? You guys will never believe me. There were two cop cars, okay? And they were chasing this four-wheel deal, this really neat ORV, and there were bullets flying all over the place. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw!
• Mikey: More amazing than the time Michael Jackson come over to your house to use the bathroom.
• Brandon Walsh: More amazing than the time you saved those old people from that nursing home fire, right?
• Mouth: Yeah, and I bet it was even more amazing than the time you ate your weight in Godfather’s pizza, right?
• Chunk: Okay, Brand. Michael Jackson didn’t come over to my house to use the bathroom… But his sister did.

The Rich Stuff

• Chunk: Mikey, Mikey, come on, our parents are worried. It’s dinnertime. Why don’t we go home?
• Mikey: Home? What home? In a couple more hours, it ain’t gonna be home anymore. Come on, guys, this is our time. Our last chance to see if there really is any rich stuff. We’ve got to.

The Wishing Well – Famous Goonies Quotes

• The Goonies are collecting coins from a wishing well.
• Stef: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop, stop! You can’t do this.
• Data Wang: Why?
• Mikey: Why?
• Stef: Because these are somebody else’s wishes. They’re somebody else’s dreams.
• Mouth: Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn’t come true. So I’m taking it back. I’m taking them all back.

The Escape Plan

• Mouth: Look it! I got an idea. Why don’t we just put chocolate all over the floor and let Chunk eat his way through?

“Man, you smell like Phys. Ed.”

• Chuck: Man, you smell like Phys. Ed.

“I’m not Liberace, you know!”

• Andy: I hit the wrong note. I’m not Liberace, you know!

We Serve Tongue – Goonies Movie Quotes

• Mama Fratelli: The only thing we serve here is tongue! Do you boys like tongue?

“Mikey, this ain’t the kind of place you want to go to the bathroom in.”

• Chunk: Mikey, Mikey, this ain’t the kind of place you want to go to the bathroom in.
• Mama Fratelli: Why not?
• Chunk: Because they might have daddy long legs and um, dead things, Mikey. DEAD THINGS!

They’ve Got An It

• Mikey: I swear on my life! They’ve got an…an ‘IT!’ A giant ‘IT!’ When it came into the light, it was all gross and distorted, and, and…
• Brandon Walsh: Yeah, kinda like your brain, right lame-o? Say goodbye to your little pals.

Mother’s Love

• Mama Fratelli: Kids suck.

Japanese Ritual Suicide vs Peaceful Hindus

• Irene Walsh: Brandon Walsh! If you don’t bring those kids back, I’m going to commit Hare Krishna!
• Brandon Walsh: That’s Hara-Kiri, Ma!

Mom’s Favorite Piece

• Data comes flying into the house, knocking over everyone, and Chunk grabs the statue of Michelangelo’s David.
• Chunk: Hey! I bet you guys think I was going to drop it, huh? I know you would think that from good ol’ Chunk.
• Places the statue on the table, and it falls off.
• Brandon Walsh: You Idiot!
• Mikey: Oh my god!
• Runs over and picks up the statue.
• Chunk: Look look! It’s not broken. It’s perfect! Haha!
• The statue’s penis has broken off.
• Mikey: (Tries to put it back on) Oh my GOD! That’s my mom’s most favorite piece!
• Chunk: Oh my god.
• Mouth: You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t.
• Mikey: Shut up Mouth!
• Brandon Walsh: Shut up Mouth.
• Chunk: (With potato chips in his mouth) You think your Mom’s gonna notice.
• Mikey: What?
• Chunk: (More clearly) Do you think your Mom is going to notice? Notice that the statue’s penis is missing.
• Mikey: I wonder if she’ll notice.
• Chunk: That’s what I said!
• Mikey: Well, of course, she’ll notice. She notices everything.
• Chunk: How’s this? (Chunk glued the statue’s penis on upside-down.)
• Mikey: Oh, you idiot! You glued it on upside-down!
• Brandon Walsh: If God made it that way, you’d all be pissing in your faces!
• Chunk: Looks fine to me.

Out Of Style

• Brandon Walsh: I’m gonna hit you so hard that when you wake up your clothes will be out of style!

Frozen Treats

• Chunk: Look at this. They’ve got Mississippi Mud, and they’ve got Chocolate Eruption, and they’ve got what? (Everyone screams.)
• Chunk: It’s a stiff. (Everyone screams and drops the dead body.)

House Rules

• Irene Walsh: Brandon, I want you to keep your brother inside. I don’t want him to catch a cold.
• Brandon Walsh: He should be put in a plastic bubble.
• Irene Walsh: I’m serious, Brandon! That’s not funny. If he takes one step outside and you’ll be in the deepest, absolutely the deepest, shi, shi, shi…
• Brandon Walsh: Shit, ma!
• Irene Walsh: I don’t like that language, but that’s exactly what you’re going to be in, and you Data.
• Data: Data
• Irene Walsh: Data use the front door from now on, okay? What is that?

The Truffle Shuffle – Goonies Movie Quotes

• Mouth: Do the truffle shuffle!

Always Separate The Drugs

This scene has one of my favorite Mouth Goonies quotes from the film. In the scene, Mouth is “translating” Mrs. Walsh’s English instructions to Spanish for Rosalita.

• Irene Walsh: Pants and shirts go in the… oh, forget about it. Just throw everything into cardboard boxes. Clark, can you really translate all that?
• Mouth: For sure, Mrs. Walsh.
• Mouth: (In Spanish) The marijuana goes in the top drawer. The cocaine and speed go in the second drawer. And the heroin goes in the bottom drawer. Always separate the drugs.

Don’t Sign The Papers

• Elgin Perkins: Alright Walsh. Today’s the day, so let’s get this over with.
• Irene Walsh: Irving?
• Irving Walsh: I’m sorry, Irene.
• Troy Perkins: Come on, Walsh. We don’t have all day. There are 50 more houses to tear down after yours.
• Irving Walsh: Easy, Brandon! Easy!
• Mikey: We had our hands on the future, but we blew it to save our own lives… Sorry.
• Mr. Walsh: That’s all right. You and Brand are home safe with your mom and me, which makes us the richest people in Astoria.
• Elgin Perkins: Walsh, you are looking at the richest people in Astoria. Now SIGN IT.
• Data: I’m sure going to miss being a Goonie.
• Brandon Walsh: (Rosalita is screaming in Spanish) What’s she saying, Mouth? Translate.
• Mouth: No, pen. No, write. No sign!
• Mikey: No, Dad. Don’t sign it! (Rosalita runs over to Mrs. Walsh and pulls out her hand and empties Mikey’s marble bag.)
• Mikey: Dad! Dad! It’s my marble bag. The Fratellis forgot to check it. I emptied out all of my marbles and put the jewels in. We don’t have to leave the boondocks!
• Irving Walsh: (Ripping up the foreclosure document) They’ll be no more signing today or ever again. (Cheering)

My Greatest Invention

• Andy: Watch this. (Data’s father takes a camera out of his jacket and proceeds to take a picture, but the film falls out. Andy starts laughing.)
• Andy: He’s just like his father.
• Data Wang: (In Chinese) That’s OK, daddy. You can’t hug a photograph.
• Mr. Wang: (In Chinese) You are my greatest invention.

The Goonies Cast: Where Are They Now?

In addition to being required viewing for every tween, Goonies was also a breeding ground for several new child actors: Josh Brolin (No Country For Old Men, True Grit, Men In Black 3, American Gangster), Sean Astin (The Lord of the Rings, Rudy, Encino Man) and Martha Plimpton (Pecker, 200 Cigarettes). The Goonies also stars Jeff Cohen, Corey Feldman, Kerri Green, Jonathan Luke Ke Huy Quan, John Matuszak, Robert Davi, Joe Pantoliano, and Anne Ramsey.

So where are the Goonies cast today? Some of them went on to star in major film projects, while others chose to pursue life behind the camera. Here’s what the Goonies cast been up to since the film’s release in 1985.

• Sean Astin (Mikey): Goonies was Sean Astin’s first major film. In the years since he’s starred in a string of successful projects including Rudy (1993) and The Lord of the Rings trilogy (2001-2003) and the second season of Stranger Things (2017).
• Corey Feldman (Mouth): Goonies helped launch Feldman as a 1980s teen idol. He followed up Goonies with a string of Hollywood hits, including Stand By Me (1986), The Lost Boys (1987), The ‘Burbs (1989), and License to Drive (1988).
• Josh Brolin (Brand): Brolin didn’t have the same instant success as some of his costars, like Felman and Astin, but he would go on to have an incredibly successful film career. After Goonies, Brolin acted in smaller films and TV shows until 2007 with his breakout roles in No Country for Old Men, American Gangster, and Grindhouse. Some of Brolin’s other notable films include True Grit (2010), W. (2008), Men In Black 3 (2012), and both Avengers: Infinity War (2018) and Avengers: Endgame (2019), where he played the mega villain, Thanos.
• Jeff Cohen (Chunk): If you’ve been wondering what happened to Chunk from Goonies, you aren’t alone. Jeff Cohen, the actor who played Chunk, quit acting shortly after the film. He’s still “in” show business, just not in front of the camera. Cohen is now an entertainment lawyer at Cohen Gardner Law in Beverly Hills, and in 2011 he wrote a book on dealmaking.
• Jonathan Ke Quan (Data): At the time Goonies was released, Jonathan Ke Quan was already a familiar face in Hollywood. Right before Goonies, he played Harrison Ford’s sidekick in Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom (1984). But after doing a few more acting roles in projects like Encino Man (1992) and an episodic role in the TV show Head Of The Class (1986), Ke Quan decided to move behind the camera. He now mostly does stunt coordinating projects.
• Kerri Green (Andy): In addition to Goonies, Green starred in a couple more 1980s hit films including Lucas (1986) and Summer Rental (1985). She then took a break from acting to attend Vassar College. After acting in a string of TV shows, she now has a film production company called Independent Women Artists.
• Martha Plimpton (Stef): After Goonies, Plimpton went on to star in star in both film and broadway projects. A few of her major stage roles include The Coast of Utopia (2006-2007), Top Girls (2007-2008), Pal Joey (2008-2009), and Hedda Gabler (2005). She has three Tony Awards nominations. Plimpton’s notable TV and film roles have included Pecker (1998), 200 Cigarettes (2002), The Mosquito Coast (1986), The Blacklist, and Frozen II (2019).
• John Matuszak (Sloth): Professional football player turned actor, Matuszak’s other TV and film credits include One Crazy Summer (1986), Cheers, M*A*S*H, and Miami Vice. He died in 1989, just a couple years after Goonies from an accidental overdose.
• Robert Davi (Jake): After reviewing Davi’s list of work, it looks like he is either cast as a villain or a cop. Davi has played the “bad guy” in Die Hard (1988), License To Kill (1989), and Stargate: Atlantis (2004-2008), to name a few. But when he’s not the bad guy, he’s a cop or FBI agent. You might have recognized Davi playing law enforcement roles in The Pretender and Profiler, among others.
• Joe Pantoliano (Francis): In addition to having significant roles in The Sopranos (1999-2006), Sense8 (2015-2018), and The Matrix (1999), Pantoliano is also an author. His book is titled “Asylum: Hollywood Tales from My Great Depression: Brain Dis-Ease, Recovery, and Being My Mother’s Son” and details his struggles with depression.
• Anne Ramsey (Mama Fratelli): Ramsey had something in common with her young Goonies costars, Goonies was the first major film for all of them. Throughout the 1970s, Ramsey played small episodic roles in TV shows, including Wonder Woman, CHiPs, and Charle’s Angels. But she wouldn’t get her first significant film role until The Goonies when she was already in her mid-50s. Ramsey followed up Goonies with Danny DeVito and Billy Crystals’ film, Throw Momma from the Train (1987) and received an Oscar nomination for her acting. Ramsey sadly passed away from cancer a couple of years later in 1989.

Goonies FAQ

• What is The Goonies motto? Goonies Never Say Die
• Why are they called Goonies? They call themselves “Goonies” because they are all come from the “Goon Docks” area of Astoria, Oregon.
• Who made Goonies? A Hollywood dream team was behind The Goonies. The 1985 film was directed by Richard Donner (Lethal Weapon, Superman), written by Chris Columbus (Harry Potter, Home Alone, Gremlins), and based on a story by executive producer Steven Spielberg.
• What beach was Goonies filmed at? The final scene from The Goonies was filmed at Indian Beach in Ecola State Park, Oregon. It’s a popular location for Hollywood movies. The films Point Break and Twilight were also filmed at Indian Beach.
• Where is the old restaurant in Goonies? Goonies fan will be disappointed to learn that the Lighthouse Lounge, the old restaurant from the film, wasn’t real. The crew built a fake restaurant exterior around an existing park shelter in Ecola State Park.

More Funny Goonies Movie Quotes?

Please let us know in the comments if we missed any of your favorite Goonies quotes or one-liners from the film. We will add it to this article and give you credit.

Related Articles:

• The Most Memorable Top Gun Quotes
• Awesome Spinal Tap Quotes That All Rock Fans Should Know
• The Funniest Quotes From The Movie Fletch
• Top Better Off Dead Movie Quotes