How To Survive A Goose Attack... With Your Dignity

You might think twice before feeding the birds after reading this article… especially the geese. Most geese will ignore human unless you get too close to their chicks or their nest. Unfortunately, because they often live in suburban areas, that’s often harder than it seems. The best way to survive a goose attack is to avoid it in the first place. Here are some preventive tips and what to do if you are ever attacked by a goose.

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Geese Can Be Very Aggressive

Some birds have bad tempers. Geese are one of those birds. They aren’t just aggressive with humans, but with each other. Here’s a video of a goose fight with a very unexpected ending. WARNING: This video ends badly. Children should not watch.

Stay Away From Their Chicks

Don’t go near their chicks. Geese are very protective parents. If you come near their goslings, then prepare for an assault. This poor man was trying to help some baby geese cross a road and was rewarded with a full-on assault. No good deed goes unpunished.

This poor dog and fisherman were relentlessly attacked by a goose multiple times when they got too close to some goslings. The fisherman repeatedly repelled the goose to no avail. They were only able to escape by leaving the area in their boat at high speed.

Stay Away From Their Nest

A Michigan teenager learned this lesson the hard way after coming too close to a Goose nest during a high school golf tournament. A goose attacked him so hard on the course that he flipped upside down. Images of the incident spurred the infamous “goose attacks golfer” meme.

Here’s How To Defend Yourself Against A Goose Attack

If you ever find yourself in a confrontation with a goose, then follow these tips. Hopefully, you’ll not only walk away unharmed but also with your dignity.

Stare down the goose. Like other animals, they can sense fear and will attack you if you show fear.
Slowly back away from your attacker. Consider this a strategic retreat.
Do not act aggressive or hostile. That will drive them to attack. Try to stay calm in your demeanor.
If the goose attacks and flies at your face, duck your head and move away at perpendicular angles. Geese fly like an airplane, but on the ground, you can move like a helicopter. Outmaneuver them using quick moves at 90-degree angles. Make sure to keep your eyes on the goose so you know which direction they are approaching you.
Brace for impact. Geese have easily knocked people over before. An adult Canada Goose can weight between 7 and 15 pounds. When you combine their weight and flying speed, it can be a very powerful hit.

Not All Geese Are Bad

In general, geese get a bad reputation because they can be so territorial. Not all geese are aggressive attackers. In many situations, you can actually peacefully hand feed geese. It’s best to let the geese come to you. Don’t force it. Show them the food and let them approach you if they want. They might even bring their chicks with them. That way you don’t risk unknowing approaching a sensitive father or mother goose or their nest.