Ah, state fairs—the birthplace of those thrilling (and sometimes questionable) rides. The state fair is a beloved American tradition, full of deep-fried delights, thrilling rides, and questionable life choices. From Ferris Wheels to livestock competitions, state fairs usually have something for everyone. But have you ever wondered about the activities that didn’t make the cut? Here’s some hilarious state fair activities that we are all lucky never saw the light of day.
Reverse Bumper Cars
Drive forward? Pfft. Where’s the challenge? Master the art of the reverse swerve and navigate the chaos of backward collisions.
Piggyback Racing
This is piggyback racing with actual pigs. Hope your pig is feeling cooperative—or it’s more of a piggy drag race.
The Slow-Mo Carousel
5 minutes. 1 rotation. This carousel spins so slow, grandpa can safely hop on in the middle of the ride.
Goldfish Pong
It’s like beer pong, but the prize is a goldfish that’ll survive… maybe until you find your car in the parking lot.
Corn Dog Javelin Throw
Ever wondered how far a deep-fried snack can fly? With two hands and a strong arm, see if you can hit the Ferris wheel operator from 50 feet away.
Giant Turkey Leg Tasting
Sample turkey legs from across your state, like the “Junkyard BBQ” or “Downtown Spicy Salsa”. Spoiler alert: they all taste like salty wood.
Llama Hair Braiding
Get that llama looking fabulous! Just watch out for their spit!
Petting Zoo Karaoke
Because nothing says “I’m a star” like belting out Taylor Swift with a goat as your backing vocalist. You’ll never hear “War Pigs” by Black Sabbath, “Roar” by Katie Perry, or “Rooster” by Alice In Chains the same way again.
Cotton Candy Sculpting
Move over Michelangelo; contestants create edible masterpieces like “The Scream” using pink and blue spun sugar. Abstract art at its finest.
The Inanimate Merry-Go-Round
No spinning, no music, just you on a stationary horse. Let the fun begin!
Haunted Porta-Potty
The spookiest experience of all—a poorly lit, creaky porta-potty with terrifying noises and eerie surprises. Enter if you dare…or really need to go.
Election Butter Sculpting
Move over, butter cows! This competition takes things to a whole new level. Contestants are given 500 pounds of butter and 24 hours to create life-sized replicas of famous politicians. The catch? They have to work in a greenhouse during the hottest day of the summer. It’s a race against time and physics as sculptures melt faster than campaign promises.
The Ferris Wheel of Torture
Combine the thrill of a Ferris wheel with the excitement of a game show and waterboarding! Contestants try to answer trivia questions while strapped into a spinning Ferris wheel. Get a question wrong, and your seat tilts uncomfortably backward. It’s educational and terrifying – just like high school, but with more nausea.
Livestock Karaoke
Ever wondered what a cow sounds like singing “Old Town Road”? Neither have we, but this activity would’ve answered that burning question. Participants choose a farm animal and perform a duet with their four-legged friend. Bonus points if you can harmonize with a rooster’s crow.
Mystery Deep-Fried Eating Contest
We’ve all heard of deep-fried Oreos and pickles, but this contest takes it to the extreme. Contestants must speed eat their way through a buffet of deep-fried items, including multiple mystery items donated by food vendors at the fairgrounds. The winner gets a lifetime supply of antacids and a stern lecture from their cardiologist.
The Human Whack-a-Mole
Just like the classic arcade game, but with real people popping out of holes in the ground. Participants use foam mallets to bop volunteers on the head as they emerge. It’s fun for the whole family – except for those with a fear of confined spaces or a history of concussions.
Tractor Ballet
Who says heavy machinery can’t be graceful? This event features farmers performing intricate dance routines with their tractors. Watch in awe as they pirouette through cornfields and do-si-do around hay bales. It’s “Swan Lake” meets “Green Acres,” with a dash of diesel fumes.
The Funnel Cake Slip ‘N Slide
A 100-foot slide coated with leftover funnel cake oil and powdered sugar. Participants slide down on inner tubes, trying to catch airborne deep-fried treats along the way. It’s part water park, part dessert, and entirely sticky. Bonus: you’ll smell like a carnival for weeks!
Competitive Cloud Watching
For those who find the regular fair activities too strenuous, there’s competitive cloud watching. Participants lie on their backs in the employee parking lot, describing the cloud shapes they see. Points are awarded for creativity, with extra credit for spotting clouds that look like famous local politicians or criminals.
The Great Pig Perfume Contest
In this olfactory adventure, contestants must create signature scents for pigs using only ingredients found at the fair. Will it be a delicate blend of cotton candy and corn dog essence? Or perhaps a musky aroma of tractor exhaust and funnel cake? The winning fragrance, “Eau de Sty,” is then applied to all the pigs in the livestock exhibition. Because nothing says “state fair” quite like a bunch of perfumed porcines.
Rejected Stair Fair Rides & Activities
So, the next time you’re at your local state fair, enjoying a deep-fried stick of butter while watching a pig race, just remember: it could have been so much weirder. And who knows? Maybe one day, we’ll all be sliding down funnel cake-coated slides and harmonizing with livestock. Until then, we’ll just have to settle for the good old-fashioned fun of questionable food choices and rigged carnival games. After all, isn’t that what state fairs are really about?
Explore the wild side of state fairs with this hilarious look at rejected activities from reverse bumper cars to piggyback racing. You'll be glad these strange and unusual attractions we're left on the drawing board. #fairgames… Share on X
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