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Home : Entertainment : Mount Up! Here Are The 16 Funniest Three Amigos Quotes

Funny Three Amigos Quotes
The Best Three Amigos Quotes

Mount Up! Here Are The 16 Funniest Three Amigos Quotes

From "You sons of a motherless goat!" to "Do you have anything besides Mexican food?", here are the best Three Amigos quotes from the classic 1986 film.

May 26, 2022 by jayfrankwilson
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If you love Three Amigos quotes, then you are in the right place!

Some movies stick with you long after their original release date. Whether it’s the score, the actors, or the story, they somehow manage to stand the test of time. The film Three Amigos (1986) is still beloved by millions, not in small part due to the combined comedic genius of stars Chevy Chase (Dusty Bottoms), Martin Short (Ned Nederlander), and Steve Martin (Lucky Day).

In the film, Chase, Short, and Martin play three out-of-work actors who have taken a job to perform for a famous person in Mexico named, El Guapo (Alfonso Arau). What they assume is a show for a Mexican celebrity, is actually a real-life showdown with a cruel gang leader. Hilarious antics ensue.  

Like many movies starring any one of these hilarious actors, Three Amigos is filled with quotable lines. Perhaps the most famous thing about the movie is the Three Amigos Salute, but here are some of the most memorable Three Amigos quotes.

” Wherever there is injustice, you will find us… The Three Amigos!”

Dusty, Ned, and Lucky are three silent movie actors who are known in their films for saving the day. Whenever they meet their foes, they declare this oath.

  • Lucky Day: Wherever there is injustice, you will find us.
  • Ned Nederlander: Wherever there is suffering, we’ll be there.
  • Dusty Bottoms: Wherever liberty is threatened, you will find…
  • Together: The Three Amigos!

“Do you know what ‘nada’ means?”

When Mr. Flugleman informs the Amigos that their movies have tanked, he gives them a small Spanish lesson.

  • Mr. Flugleman: Do you know what ‘nada’ means? In all of those Mexican movies that you made, did you ever hear that word?
  • Dusty Bottoms: Isn’t that a light chicken gravy?
  • Mr. Flugleman: It means nothing. Zero. Zip. It’s what you’re gonna have when I’m through with you. You hit Harry Flugleman on a bad day.
  • Dusty Bottoms: I’d like to continue to work for free Mr. Flugleman. (forced grin)

“Do you know what ‘nada’ means?… Isn’t that a light chicken gravy?” – Funny Three Amigos Quotes #ThreeAmigos #ChevyChase
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The “Infamous” Invitation

When the out-of-work actors read the telegram inviting them to Mexico, there may just be a misunderstanding.

  • Lucky Day: (reading) Three Amigos. Hollywood, California. You are very great. One hundred thousand pesos. Come to Santa Poco put on show. Stop. The infamous El Guapo. 
  • Dusty: What does that mean? In-famous?
  • Ned: Oh, Dusty. In-famous is when you’re MORE than famous. This man El Guapo, he’s not just famous, he’s IN-famous.
  • Lucky Day : 100,000 pesos to perform with this El Guapo, who’s probably the biggest actor to come out of Mexico!
  • Dusty Bottoms : Wow, in-famous! In-famous?

“Would you say I have a ‘plethora’ of piñatas?”

El Guapo is a gritty, take-no-prisoners thug who also happens to have very specific requests for his birthday: guns and a “plethora” of piñatas. 

  • Jefe: I have put many beautiful piñatas in the storeroom, each of them filled with little surprises.
  • El Guapo: Many piñatas?
  • Jefe: Oh yes! Many!
  • El Guapo: Would you say I have a ‘plethora’ of pinatas?
  • Jefe: A what?
  • El Guapo: A plethora.
  • Jefe: …Oh yes. You have a plethora.

“You dirt-eating piece of slime! You scum-sucking pig! You sons of a motherless goat!”

Entertainers love to entertain. Thinking that they are performing a show, the Three Amigos face the enemy with fearless vigor. Lucky Day delivers a sharp insult to El Guapo’s horde that neither they, nor anyone else will soon forget.

  • Sunny: Okay Amigos, this is it. Ned, big smile. Dusty, just relax and have fun with it.
  • Dusty: I’m just gonna have fun with it.
  • (The Amigos run towards three banditos on horseback.)
  • Lucky: I’m Lucky Day!
  • Ned: I’m Ned Nederlander!
  • Dusty: …and I’m Dusty Bottoms. And together we’re…
  • Together: The Three Amigos!
  • (Misc dance moves)
  • Sunny: Let’s go!
  • (All Three Amigos jump onto their horses).
  • Lucky: Well… You slime eating dogs. You scum sucking pigs. You sons of a motherless goat!
  • Bandito Leader: (confused) Son of a motherless goat?! And WHO ARE YOU?
  • Ned: Wherever there is injustice, you will find us. Wherever there is suffering, we’ll be there… Line? (he’s forgotten the Three Amigos salute)
  • Dusty: (quietly) Wherever liberty is threatened…
  • Ned: Wherever liberty is threatened, you will find…
  • Together: The Three Amigos!
  • (The Three Amigos ride around the Banditos in a circle shooting their guns in the air)
  • Bandito: Who are these monkeys?
  • Bandito Leader: I don’t know.
  • Bandito: Do we kill them?
  • Bandito Leader: No. Let’s go tell El Guapo what we’ve seen here.
  • (As the Banditos ride away, the townspeople are overjoyed.)
  • Sunny: And stray out!
  • Sunny: Nice show.
  • Dusty: Not bad for a matinée.
  • Ned: Yeah, but I forgot a line though
  • Dusty: They’ll never pick it. Never notice.

“You slime eating dogs. You scum sucking pigs. You sons of a motherless goat!” – Funny Three Amigos Quotes #ThreeAmigos #ChevyChase
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“You will die like dogs!?”

Wanting to keep to the script, the Amigos guide El Guapo in their first standoff together.

  • Ned: (Whispers) Tell us we will die like dogs.
  • El Guapo: What?
  • Ned: (Whispers again) Tell us we will die like dogs.
  • El Guapo: You will die like dogs?
  • Dusty: No! We will not die like dogs! We will fight like lions! Because we are the Three Amigos!

“You will die like dogs!” – Funny Three Amigos Quotes #ThreeAmigos #ChevyChase #MartinShort #SteveMartin
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“Which one do you like?… The one that’s not too smart… Which one is that?”

The ladies of the village discuss which Amigo they like best…

  • Juanita: Which one do you like?
  • Carmen: The one that’s not too smart.
  • Juanita: Which one is that?

“”Which one do you like?… The one that’s not too smart… Which one is that?”” – Funny Three Amigos Quotes
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“Do you have anything besides Mexican food?”

The Three Amigos are invited to dinner, but Dusty Bottoms isn’t thrilled with the local cuisine options.

  • Mexican Woman: We are honored to have you in our home.
  • (struggling to eat a taco)
  • Dusty: Do you have anything besides Mexican food?

“Do you have anything besides Mexican food?” – Funny Three Amigos Quotes #ThreeAmigos #ChevyChase #MexicanFood
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Lip Balm?

The Three Amigos are riding their horses through the desert in the hot sun. They are all very thirsty.

  • Sunny: (thirstily tries to shake a drop of water from his empty canteen)
  • Ned: (tries to drink from his canteen, but it’s full of sand, which fills his mouth)
  • Dusty: (his canteen is full of water, and he drinks sloppily from it splashing water everywhere)
  • Sunny & Ned: (look at Dusty with disgust)
  • Dusty: (gargling with water)
  • Ned: (looks at Dusty with extreme disgust)
  • Dusty: (spits out water after he finished gargling and throws his still half full canteen onto the ground where it spills water into the desert floor)
  • Sunny & Ned: (dumbfounded)
  • Dusty: Lip balm?

“You could kiss me on the veranda… Lips would be fine.”

It’s a romantic scene as Dusty plays the guitar under the stars while Rosita sits by his side. 

  • Rosita: Would you like to kiss me?
  • Dusty: Yeah.
  • Rosita: Well?
  • Dusty: What…now? Here?
  • Rosita: Well, we could take a walk and you could kiss me on the veranda.
  • Dusty: Lips would be fine.

“You could kiss me on the veranda…. Lips would be fine.” – Funny Three Amigos Quotes #ThreeAmigos #ChevyChase
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“…Someone’s been down here with the ugly stick.”

Funny Quotes From Three Amigos - &Quot;Looks Like Someone'S Been Down Here With The Ugly Stick.&Quot;
Funny Quotes From Three Amigos: “Looks like someone’s been down here with the ugly stick.”

The Amigos roll into Santa Poco ready for action. Lights, camera, action, that is. They stroll into the saloon to take a look around and don’t really like what they see.

  • Dusty: Looks like someone’s been down here with the ugly stick.

“Looks like someone’s been down here with the ugly stick.” – Funny Three Amigos Quotes #ThreeAmigos #ChevyChase #SantaPoco
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“You cannot force open the petals of a flower. When the flower is ready, it opens itself up to you.”

&Quot;You Cannot Force Open The Petals Of A Flower. When The Flower Is Ready, It Opens Itself Up To You.&Quot; - Three Amigos Quotes
“You cannot force open the petals of a flower. When the flower is ready, it opens itself up to you.” – Three Amigos Quotes

El Guapo has kidnapped the beautiful Carmen in the hopes that he will woo her until she is his. He explains the finer points of romance to his compadre, Jefe. 

  • El Guapo: Jefe, you do not understand women. You cannot force open the petals of a flower. When the flower is ready, it opens itself up to you.
  • Jefe: When do you think Carmen will ‘open up her flower’ to you?
  • El Guapo: Tonight, or I will kill her.

“What’s tequila?”

The Three Amigos walk into a dirty saloon full of Banditos. Everyone in the bar is terrified. They incorrectly assume that the Amigos are ruthless killers.

  • Dusty: Well, as long as we have some time to kill, I think I’ll have a beer.
  • Bartender: We don’t have no beer. Just tequila.
  • Sunny: What’s tequila?
  • Bartender: Eh, it’s like beer.
  • Dusty: Is it fattening?
  • Bartender: …Fattening?
  • Sunny: Forget it, if it’s like beer, we’ll have some. Three tequilas.
  • Bartender: Sure. Sure, amigo. Enjoy yourself. Try not to get into too much trouble, okay? (forced laugh)

“I think it’s a mail plane.”

  • Dusty Bottoms: (a small plane flies overhead) What is it doing here?
  • Ned Nederlander: I think it’s a mail plane.
  • Dusty Bottoms: How can you tell?
  • Ned Nederlander: Didn’t you notice its little balls?

“…All of us has an El Guapo to face.”

The Amigos return to the village with Carmen and encourage the people to fight back. Lucky Day tells them that anything can be an El Guapo you need to defeat. First, though, they must defeat the actual El Guapo.

  • Lucky Day: In a way, all of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous guy who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be *the actual* El Guapo!

My Little Buttercup

  • Lucky Day, Ned Nederlander: (singing) My little Buttercup has the sweetest smile/ Dear little Buttercup, won’t you stay a while?/ We’ll settle down together in a cottage built for two/ Oh, Dear little Buttercup, I love you!
  • Lucky Day: (motioning for people to join in singing) C’mon, everybody!
  • Lucky Day, Ned Nederlander: My little Buttercup has the sweetest… (points to man)
  • Patron: Es-smile!
  • Lucky Day, Ned Nederlander: Dear little Buttercup, won’t you stay a… (points to another man) 
  • Patron #2 : While! While!
  • Lucky Day, Ned Nederlander: We’ll settle down together in a cottage built for two, ohh… (Lucky and Ned point to group at table)
  • Crowd at Bar: Dear!
  • Lucky Day, Ned Nederlander: Little Buttercup! (Lucky and Ned point to another group) 
  • Crowd at Bar: Sweet!
  • Lucky Day, Ned Nederlander: Little Buttercup! (Lucky points to bartender) 
  • Bartender: My little Buttercup!
  • Lucky Day, Ned Nederlander: I love you!

The Best Three Amigos Quotes

Funny Three Amigos Quotes
The Best Three Amigos Quotes

Siskel and Ebert named Three Amigos one of the worst movies of 1986, but the slapstick comedy and hilarious dialogue actually made this movie a comedic classic. These Three Amigos quotes are some of the most memorable in modern film history. Which one is your favorite? Did we miss any of your favorite quotes from Three Amigos? Please let us know in the comments.

Mount Up! Here Are The Funniest Three Amigos Quotes
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NERD NOTE: Originally, Three Amigos was supposed to star Steve Martin, Dan Aykroyd, and John Belushi. But as different directors were approached with the project, the casting choices went through several variations. When Steven Spielberg was considering directing the film, (he chose to do E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial instead), his choices Steve Martin as Lucky Day, Bill Murray as Dusty Bottoms, and Robin Williams as Ned Nederlander. After John Landis agreed to direct, he offered a starring role to John Candy, but scheduling conflicts forced Candy to turn it down. Landis said that if Martin Short had turned down the role of Ned, he would have approached Rick Moranis.


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Category: Entertainment, Humor Tag: Chevy Chase, Martin Short, mexico, Movie Quotes, Steve Martin, Three Amigos
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