Review: You
may be surprised to discover that the director of the Lethal
Weapon movies and scary horror flick The
Omen, Richard
Donner, also produced and directed this classic children's
adventure (which, by the way, was written by Donner's screen-wizard
friend Steven
Spielberg). Then again you may not. The Goonies, like Donner's
other movies, is the same story of good versus evil. It has
its share of bad guys (the Fratelli brothers and their villainous
mother), reluctant-hero good guys (the Walsh bothers and their
gang of friends), and lots of corny one-liners. Like
in an old-fashioned Hardy Boys or Nancy Drew plot, the Goonies
need to solve a problem: a corrupt corporate developer has
bought out their neighborhood and plans to flatten all their
homes. Luckily, the beloved gang stumbles on a treasure map.
In the hopes of finding the treasure to buy back their houses,
the Goonies embark on their quest through underground passages,
aboard pirate ships, and behind waterfalls. This swashbuckling
and rollicking ride was also a great breeding ground for
a couple of child actors who went on to enjoy numerous successes
in adulthood: Sean
Astin (Rudy, Encino Man) and Martha
Plimpton (Pecker, 200 Cigarettes). --Samantha Allen
Storey
Elgin
Perkins : Is your mommy here? Brandon Walsh : No, sir. Actually, she's out at the market
buying Pampers for all us kids. Stef
: This is ridiculous. It's crazy. I feel like I'm babysitting,
except I'm not getting paid. [The
Fratellis are interrogating Chunk ] Francis
Fratelli : Tell us everything! Everything! Chunk : Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated
on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee
and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play.
In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed
it on the dog...When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids
and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they
kicked me out...But the worst thing I ever done -- I mixed a pot
of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid
the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then,
I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa -- and then I dumped
it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then,
this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing
up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life. Jake Fratelli : I'm beginning to like this kid, Ma!
Mouth
: Is this supposed to be water? Mama Fratelli : It's wet, ain't it? Drink it! Mikey
: Goonies never say die!
Sloth
: Hey, you guys!
Andy
: I can't tell... if it's an "A sharp" or if it's
a "B flat"! Mikey : Heh, if you hit the wrong note, we'll all "B
flat!" [Brand
and Andy are about to kiss after falling down ] Chunk : Shame, shame! Data : I know your name! Mouth : Come on, Brand! Slip her the tongue! Stef : Oh, that's disgusting. Now I can't even look.
Mikey
: Don't you realize? The next time you see sky, it'll be over
another town. The next time you take a test, it'll be in some other
school. Our parents, they want the best of stuff for us. But right
now, they got to do what's right for them. Because it's their time.
Their time! Up there! Down here, it's our time. It's our time down
here. That's all over the second we ride up Troy's bucket.
Chunk
: Listen, okay? You guys'll never believe me. There was two
cop cars, okay? And they were chasing this four-wheel deal, this
real neat ORV, and there were bullets flying all over the place.
It was the most amazing thing I ever saw! Mikey : More amazing than the time Michael Jackson come over
to your house to use the bathroom. Brandon Walsh : More amazing than the time you saved those
old people from that nursing home fire, right? Mouth : Yeah, and I bet it was even more amazing than the
time you ate your weight in Godfather's pizza, right? Chunk : Okay, Brand. Michael Jackson didn't come over to
my house to use the bathroom. But his sister did.
Chunk
: Mikey, Mikey, come on, our parents are worried. It's dinnertime.
Why don't we go home? Mikey : Home? What home? In a couple more hours, it ain't
gonna be home anymore. Come on, guys, this is our time. Our last
chance to see if there really is any rich stuff. We've got to.
[The
Goonies are collecting coins from a wishing well ] Stef : Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop, stop!
You can't do this. Data : Why? Mikey : Why? Stef : Because these are somebody else's wishes. They're
somebody else's dreams. Mouth : Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right
here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn't come true. So I'm
taking it back. I'm taking them all back.
Mouth
: Lookit! I got an idea. Why don't we just put chocolate all
over the floor and let Chunk eat his way through? Andy
: I hit the wrong note. I'm not Liberace you know! Mama
Fratelli : The only thing we serve here is tongue! You boys
like tongue? Data
: Holy S-H-I-T! Chunk
: Mikey, Mikey, this ain't the kind of place you want to go
to the bathroom in. Mama Fratelli : Why not? Chunk : Because they might have daddy longlegs and um...dead
things, Mikey. DEAD THINGS!
Mouth
: Senior Jerk Alert! Mikey
: I swear on my life! They've got an...an 'IT!' A giant 'IT!'
When it came into the light it was all gross and distorted, and,
and... Brandon Walsh : Yeah, kinda like your brain, right lame-o?
Say goodbye to your little pals. Mama
Fratelli : Kids suck.
Irene
Walsh : Brandon Walsh! If you don't bring those kids back I'm
going to commit Harri Krishna! Brandon Walsh : That's Hari Kari, Ma! Chunk
: [ with potato chips in his mouth ] You think your Mom's gonna
notice? Mikey : What? Chunk : [ more clearly ] Do you think your Mom is going to
notice? Notice that the statue's penis is missing. Mikey : I wonder if she'll notice. Chunk : That's what I said! Mikey : Well, of course she'll notice. She notices everything.
[Chunk
glued the statue's penis on upside-down ] Chunk : How's this? Mikey : Oh, you idiot! You glued it on upside-down! Brandon Walsh : If God made it that way, you'd all be pissing
in your faces! Chunk : Looks fine to me. Brandon
Walsh : I'm gonna hit you so hard that when you wake up your
clothes will be out of style! Chunk
: I just saw the most amazing thing in my entire life! Mouth : First you gotta do the truffle shuffle. Chunk
: Look at this. They've got Mississippi Mud and they've got
Chocolate Eruption and they've got what?
[Everyone screams. ] Chunk : It's a stiff.
[Everyone screams and drops the dead body.
]
Irene
Walsh : Brandon I want you to keep your brother inside I don't
want him to catch a cold. Brandon Walsh : He should be put in a plastic bubble. Irene Walsh : I'm serious Brandon! That's not funny. If he
takes one step outside and you'll be in the deepest, absolutely
the deepest, shi, shi, shi... Brandon Walsh : Shit ma! Irene Walsh : I don't like that language but that's exactly
what you're going to be in, and you Data. Data : Data Irene Walsh : Data use the front door from now on okay? What
is that?
Paris
Hilton Hotel Movie Review Paris
Hilton is a hard parting rich girl who's family owns the Hilton Hotel
empire. But she's now a XXX movie star. Here's an in-depth review of
her amateur performance.
The Adventures of Prince Achmed The Adventures of Prince Achmed is so rich with wild imagination, you will forget your are watching animated paper cutouts in a silent film made a century ago. Someday this film will get the recognition it richly deserves.
Paris
Hilton vs. Lacey Underall Put
on an anti-viral panty liner and let the battle between the
spoiled rich blonde bitches begin! It's Paris Hilton, heiress
to the Hilton Hotel empire vs Lacey Underall from the movie
Caddyshack.
Cobra
Island Rave The
plot of Cobra Island Rave is almost as loose as the girls. He-Man
and Lion-o are looking for chicks at the Cobra Island Rave and
it's a wild night. Snarf is on ecstasy. Zartan is in the DJ booth
and Shaggy is shagging someone else's girlfriend (guess who)
next to Beavis and Butt-Head by the urinals.
Kumar:
My 88 Year Old Best Friend This
film provides a unique window into the fascinating and unlikely
friendship between eighty-eight year old cult film icon Kumar Pallana
(The Terminal, Royal Tenenbaums, Rushmore) and thirty-year old
indie label proprietor Dave Brown.
Computers
in Movies: Fact vs Fiction Why are
movie computers always more powerful, full of special features and
can do anything in the matter of seconds? Here's a list of everything
that's wrong with how computers are used in the movies.
[The
Fratellis are interrogating Chunk ]
Sloth
: Hey, you guys! 
Chunk
: Listen, okay? You guys'll never believe me. There was two
cop cars, okay? And they were chasing this four-wheel deal, this
real neat ORV, and there were bullets flying all over the place.
It was the most amazing thing I ever saw! 
[The
Goonies are collecting coins from a wishing well ]
Chunk
: [ with potato chips in his mouth ] You think your Mom's gonna
notice? 
Irene
Walsh : Brandon I want you to keep your brother inside I don't
want him to catch a cold. 
Paris
Hilton is a hard parting rich girl who's family owns the Hilton Hotel
empire. But she's now a XXX movie star. Here's an in-depth review of
her amateur performance. 
The Adventures of Prince Achmed is so rich with wild imagination, you will forget your are watching animated paper cutouts in a silent film made a century ago. Someday this film will get the recognition it richly deserves.
Put
on an anti-viral panty liner and let the battle between the
spoiled rich blonde bitches begin! It's Paris Hilton, heiress
to the Hilton Hotel empire vs Lacey Underall from the movie
Caddyshack. 
The
plot of Cobra Island Rave is almost as loose as the girls. He-Man
and Lion-o are looking for chicks at the Cobra Island Rave and
it's a wild night. Snarf is on ecstasy. Zartan is in the DJ booth
and Shaggy is shagging someone else's girlfriend (guess who)
next to Beavis and Butt-Head by the urinals.
This
film provides a unique window into the fascinating and unlikely
friendship between eighty-eight year old cult film icon Kumar Pallana
(The Terminal, Royal Tenenbaums, Rushmore) and thirty-year old
indie label proprietor Dave Brown.
Why are
movie computers always more powerful, full of special features and
can do anything in the matter of seconds? Here's a list of everything
that's wrong with how computers are used in the movies.
