How Many Of These Funny Quotes From The Blues Brothers Do You Remember?

The Blues Brothers is one of the most popular movies spun off from a Saturday Night Live skit. Why? It has a great script, great cast, incredible director and is full of memorable moments. We love this movie so much and are excited to share with you these Blues Brothers quotes.

Movies starring SNL characters tend to be forgettable at best. The Blues Brothers are one of the rare exceptions to this rule. What’s the secret? For starters, Lorne Michaels — the creator of SNL — wasn’t involved in any way. Director John Landis had free rein, and the results are thrilling. Even now, the car chase in this movie remains one of the greatest movie car chase of all time.

And then, of course, there are the actors. John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd are fantastic as the titular brothers. But the great casting goes beyond the title roles. The Blues Brothers cast also includes legendary cameo appearances by Ray Charles, Aretha Franklin, and James Brown.

Over the decades since it’s release, The Blues Brothers has lost little of its brilliance. To celebrate this brilliant film, here are the best quotes from The Blues Brothers!

Road Trip: “It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark… and we’re wearing sunglasses.”

After receiving a $10,000 advance on a recording contract, the Brothers need to get to City Hall on time. This sets the stage for one of the most famous Blues Brothers quotes from the movie.

• Elwood: It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark… and we’re wearing sunglasses.
• Jake: Hit it.

“One unused prophylactic.”

• (Jake is released on parole and is receiving his property)
• Corrections Officer: One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic. One ‘soiled’ (disgusted, picks it up with his pen). One black suit jacket, one pair black suit pants. One hat, black. One pair of sunglasses. $23.07. Sign here.

The Blues Brother Restaurant Scene: “Give me four fried chickens and one Coke… and some dry toast, please.”

Having just got out of jail, Jake’s appetite needs some whetting. They stop at a diner called The Soul Food Cafe and confuse the owner, Mrs. Murphy (Aretha Franklin), with their usual order.

• Mrs. Murphy: May I help you boys?
• Elwood: You got any white bread?
• Mrs. Murphy: Yes.
• Elwood: I will have some toasted bread, please.
• Mrs. Murphy: You want butter or jam on that toast, honey?
• Elwood: No, madam. Dry.
• (Mrs. Murphy shoots him a look, then turns to Jake)
• Jake: Got any fried chicken?
• Mrs. Murphy: Best damn chicken in the state.
• Jake: Give me four fried chickens and one Coke.
• Mrs. Murphy: Chicken wings or chicken legs?
• Jake: Four fried chickens and one Coke.
• Elwood: And some dry white toast, please.
• Mrs. Murphy: You all want anything to drink with that?
• Elwood: No, madam.
• Jake: One Coke.
• Mrs. Murphy: Be up in a minute.
• (goes in back)
• Mrs. Murphy: We got two honkeys out there dressed like Chasidic diamond merchants
• Matt: Say what?!?
• Mrs. Murphy: They look like they from the CIA or something
• Matt: What they want to eat?
• Mrs. Murphy: The tall one wants (pause) white bread toast, dry, with nothing on it…
• Matt: Elwood!
• Mrs. Murphy: And the other one wants four whole fried chickens and a coke.
• Matt: …and Jake, SH*T, The Blues Brothers!

Bad Faith: “Walk right out that door without your white toast.”

In an attempt to get the band back together, Jake and Elwood contact Matt “Guitar” Murphy. Unfortunately, Mrs. Murphy (Aretha Franklin) isn’t keen on the idea.

• Mrs. Murphy: Don’t blaspheme in here! Don’t blaspheme in here! This is my man and my restaurant! You two are gonna walk right out that door without your white toast, without your four chickens, and without Matt “Guitar” Murphy!

“How much for the little girl? How much for the women?”

• (To man in restaurant)
• Jake: (fakes accent) How much for the little girl? How much for the women?
• Father: What?
• Jake: Your women. I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters… sell them to me. Sell me your children!

The Mission: “We are on a mission from God.”

This is one of the *other* most famous Blues Brother quotes from the movie. The Brothers need to convince their former band mates to reunite.

• Jake: We are getting the band back together.
• Mr. Fabulous: Forget it. No chance.
• Elwood: We are on a mission from God.

Are you the police? …No ma’am. We’re musicians.

• Woman: Are you the police?
• Elwood: No ma’am. We’re musicians.

Taste In Music: “We got both kinds. Country and western.”

After “getting” a gig at a bar called Bob’s Country Bunker, Elwood discovers they aren’t the best fit.

• Elwood: What kind of music do you usually have here?
• Claire: Oh, we got both kinds. We got country *and* western.

Beer Money: “About the money for tonight…”

Despite some issues with the set list, the band manages to put together a decent performance. Unfortunately for them, the drinks were *not* free.

• Jake: Uh, Bob, about the money for tonight.
• Bob: Oh, yeah, $200, and you boys drank $300 worth of beer.

The New Bluesmobile

• “Joliet” Jake Blues: What’s this?
• Elwood Blues: What?
• “Joliet” Jake Blues: This car. This stupid car. Where’s the Cadillac?
• “Joliet” Jake Blues: The Caddy, where’s the Caddy?
• Elwood Blues: The what?
• “Joliet” Jake Blues: The Cadillac we used to have. The Bluesmobile.
• Elwood Blues: I traded it.
• “Joliet” Jake Blues: You traded the Bluesmobile for this?
• Elwood Blues: No, for a microphone.
• “Joliet” Jake Blues: A microphone? Okay, I can see that. But what the hell is this?
• Elwood Blues: This was a bargain. I picked it up at the Mount Prospect City police auction last spring. It’s an old Mount Prospect police car. They were practically giving them away.
• “Joliet” Jake Blues: Well, thank you, pal. The day I get out of prison, my own brother picks me up in a police car.
• Elwood Blues: You don’t like it?
• “Joliet” Jake Blues: No, I don’t like it.
• “Joliet” Jake Blues: Car’s got a lot of pickup.
• Elwood Blues: It’s got a cop motor, a four hundred and forty cubic inch plant. It’s got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It’s a model made before catalytic converters, so it’ll run good on regular gas. What do you say? Is it the new Bluesmobile or what?
• “Joliet” Jake Blues: Fix the cigarette lighter.

“They’re not gonna catch us. We’re on a mission from God!”

• Jake Blues: First you trade the Cadillac for a microphone. Then you lie to me about the band. Now you’re gonna put me right back in the joint!
• Elwood Blues: They’re not gonna catch us. We’re on a mission from God!

xxxxx

[Cops radio for assistance. Elwood enters parking lot.] ELWOOD: We’d be alright if we could just get back on the expresswaY. JAKE: Don’t look like no expressway to me! ELWOOD: Don’t yell at me. JAKE: What the hell you want me to do, Motorhead? ELWOOD: Well, try not to be so negative all the time. Why don’t you offer a little constructive criticism? JAKE: You got us into this parking lot, pal. So you get us out. ELWOOD: You want out of this parking lot? OK. [Music turns to “I Can’t Turn You Loose”] [Chase scene INTO the mall]

“1060 West Addison? That’s Wrigley Field.”

• ‘Joliet’ Jake Blues: How are you gonna get the band back together, Mr. Hot Rodder? Those cops have your name, your address.
• Elwood Blues: They don’t have my address. I falsified my renewal. I put down 1060 West Addison.
• ‘Joliet’ Jake Blues: 1060 West Addison? That’s Wrigley Field.”

No More Mr. Nice Guy: “Use of unnecessary violence in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers HAS been approved.”

At a certain point, the Chicago Police had simply had enough of Jake and Elwood’s antics. Dozens of Police cars join the chase to catch The Blues Brothers, but somehow they manage to elude capture and leave a trail of destruction in their wake.

• Police Dispatcher: Use of unnecessary violence in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers HAS been approved.

If you pay close attention, you might recognize Ralph Foody, the actor who plays the Police dispatcher in this scene. He also played the role of Johnny the gangster in the fake black and white movies in Home Alone and Home Alone 2 that famously said, “Merry Christmas you filthy animal.”

Shake A Tail Feather Scene: “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the action on this piano.”

In his all-too-brief cameo, Ray Charles steals the show as a music instruments dealer. He comes out of his office to prove that there’s nothing wrong with his piano by performing a song.

• Murph: (Tests the piano) I mean really, Ray, it’s used. There’s no action left in this keyboard.
• Ray: (Smiles, comes out to the piano) E-excuse me, uh, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the action on this piano.
• (Launches into the song “Shake Your Tail Feather”)

State County Municipal Offender Data System

• Elwood: Man, I haven’t been pulled over in six months. I bet those cops have got ‘SCMODS.’
• Jake: “SCMODS?”
• Elwood: State County Municipal Offender Data System.

Churching WIll Make You Wise

• Curtis: Well, the Sister was right. You boys could use a little churching up. Slide on down to the Triple Rock, and catch Rev. Cleophus. You boys listen to what he’s got to say.
• Jake: (annoyed) Curtis, I don’t want to listen to no jive-ass preacher talking to me about Heaven and Hell.
• Curtis: Jake, you get wise. You get to church.

A Disappointing Pair

• Sister Mary: You are such a disappointing pair. I prayed so hard for you. It saddens and hurts me that the two young men whom I raised to believe in the Ten Commandments have returned to me as two thieves, with filthy mouths and bad attitudes… Get out, and don’t come back until you’ve redeemed yourselves.

Excuses, Excuses: “IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!”

When confronted with a jilted lover (Carrie Fisher) carrying an M16, Jake goes into survival mode.

• Mystery Woman: You miserable slug! You think you can talk your way out of this? You betrayed me.
• Jake: No, I didn’t. Honest… I ran out of gas. I… I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!

Epiphany: “YES! JESUS H. TAP-DANCING CHRIST! I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!”

During a particularly passionate sermon, Jake finds a solution for the orphanage’s troubles.

(While standing at the entrance to the Triple Rock church watching the service with much dancing and Hallelujah choruses, a heavenly light shines down on Jake and he has an epiphany.)

• Jake: The band? The band.
• Reverend Cleophus James: DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?
• Jake: THE BAND!
• Reverend Cleophus James: DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?
• Elwood: What light?
• Reverend Cleophus James: HAVE YOU SEEN THE LIGHT?
• Jake: YES! YES! JESUS H. TAP-DANCING CHRIST! I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!

Prayer: “Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don’t fail me now.”

If you’re going to evade the Illinois Nazis, the Good Ol’ Boys, and the entire Chicago Police Department, you’re going to need help.

• Elwood: Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don’t fail me now.

Watch Your Language: “I offered to help you. You refused to take our money.”

Finally, here’s the event that sets the whole movie in motion. It’s the scene that puts The Blues Brothers on their mission from God.

• Sister Mary Stigmata: No, no! I will not take your filthy stolen money!
• Jake: Well then… I guess you’re really up S**t Creek.
• (Sister Mary Stigmata hits Jake Blues with a ruler for using that kind of language)
• Sister Mary Stigmata: I beg your pardon, what did you say?
• Jake: I offered to help you. You refused to take our money. Then I said: I guess you’re really up S**t Creek!
• (Sister Mary Stigmata hits Jake Blues with the ruler again)
• Elwood: Christ, Jake. Take it easy man.
• (Sister Mary Stigmata hits Elwood Blues)
• Jake: Oh s**t!
• (Sister Mary Stigmata hits Jake Blues)
• Elwood: Jesus Christ!
• (Sister Mary Stigmata hits Elwood Blues)
• Jake: S**t!

Everybody: “No matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive. There are still some things that make us all the same: You, me, them. Everybody!”

Before sneaking out of their gig to avoid the Police, Elwood has some wise words for the audience at their show.

• Elwood: We’re so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight. And we would especially like to welcome all of the representatives of the Illinois Law enforcement community, who have chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time. We do sincerely hope that you all enjoy the show and please remember people, that no matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive. There are still some things that make us all the same: You, me, them. Everybody! Everybody!

The Best Blues Brothers Quotes

With some movies, finding enough quotes to remember is a challenge unto itself. With The Blues Brothers, the challenge lies in stopping after a certain point. If we missed one of your favorite Blues Brothers quotes, then let us know in the comments below!

Thinking of going on a comedy binge? If so, we have a couple of suggestions for anyone who enjoyed The Blues Brothers. For example, check out this list of awesome movie quotes from Caddyshack! Thanks for reading!