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Unfortunately, there’s usually some family tension on Thanksgiving Day. Between the stress of traveling, everyone cooking in the same kitchen, and close quarters, it’s almost unavoidable. Hopefully, these Thanksgiving jokes will help diffuse some of that drama and make people laugh. At the very least, you’ll make the kids smile. Here are some puns, one-liners, and funny Thanksgiving jokes for kids to help make everyone laugh.
Pilgrim Thanksgiving Jokes
- Why do pilgrims’ pants always fall down? Because they wear their belt buckles on their hats!
- What kind of music did the pilgrims listen to? Plymouth Rock.
- If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims.
- What do you call the age of a pilgrim? Pilgrimage.
- If pilgrims were alive today, what would they be known for? Their age!
Turkey Jokes, Puns & One-Liners
- What key has legs but can’t open a door? A turkey.
- What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day? “Quack, Quack!”
- Why did the turkey cross the road? He wanted people to think he was a chicken.
- What do you call a running turkey? Fast food.
- Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had his own drumsticks.
- What did the turkey say to the computer? “Google, google.”
- Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Yes, a building can’t jump at all.
- Why shouldn’t you sit next to a turkey at dinner? Because it will gobble up all the food.
- What happened to the turkey that got in a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
- How come the turkey didn’t eat dinner? He was already stuffed.
- If you call a big turkey a gobbler, what do you call a small one? A goblet.
- Why was the turkey put in jail? The police suspected fowl play.
- Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey? He sensed fowl play.
- Why can’t you take a turkey to church? Because they use fowl language.
- What kind of weather does a turkey like? Fowl weather.
- What sound does a limping turkey make? Wobble, wobble!
- What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
- On the day after Thanksgiving, a man buys a very talented talking parrot. But after he brings it home, the parrot does nothing but insult him. The man tries everything to make the parrot stop, but nothing works. Frustrated, the man puts the parrot in the refrigerator, but he can still hear the parrot insulting him. After a few minutes, the insults finally stop. The man worries that he might have killed the parrot, so he opens the refrigerator and takes the parrot out. The parrot is shivering. It stammers, “S-s-sorry. S-s-sorry.” Then, after a moment, the parrot softly asks, “W-w-what d-d-did the turkey do?”
- A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She then asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No, ma’am. They’re dead.”
- A first-grade class was asked to write a paragraph called “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving.” One of the kids began their essay with, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.”
- My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes… but I couldn’t quit cold turkey.
- What do you call a wild turkey on the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky.
Thanksgiving Food & Thanksgiving Dinner Jokes
- “Knock knock!” “Who’s there?” “Norma Lee.” “Norma Lee who?” “Norma Lee I don’t drink eat this much on Thanksgiving!”
- Why did the cranberries turn red? Because they saw the turkey dressing.
- Why didn’t the cook season the Thanksgiving turkey? There was no thyme!
- “Knock knock!” “Who’s there?” “Tamara.” “Tamara who?” “Tamara we’ll eat all the leftovers!”
- What’s a turkey’s favorite dessert? Peach gobbler!
- What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth!
- What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.
- Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carrots.
- What did the widow turkey say to her disobedient children? If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy.
- What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner? A har-vest.
- What’s a turkey’s favorite Thanksgiving food? Nothing, it’s already stuffed.
- What’s the best song to sing while preparing your Thanksgiving turkey? “All About That Baste”
- Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day? He wanted mashed potatoes.
- A potato and a sweet potato were playing on the playground. The sweet potato told the potato, “Hey, I just found out I’m related to you.” The potato said, “No, you’re not!” and the sweet potato replied, “Yes, I yam.”
- “Hey I just met you, and this is gravy, but here’s my stuffing, so carve me maybe.”
Halloween Thanksgiving Jokes
- Which November holiday is Dracula’s favorite? Fangs-giving!
- What do you get if you cross a turkey with a ghost? A poultry-geist.
- What’s Frankenstein’s favorite Thanksgiving dish? Monster mash potatoes and grave-y.
More Funny Thanksgiving Jokes For Kids?
We hope this list of funny Thanksgiving jokes for kids tickled your funny bone so much that you dropped the wishbone. As you gather with friends and family on Thanksgiving Day, a little humor can help alleviate some of the family drama and stress that normally accompanies holiday gatherings. Hopefully, these funny Thanksgiving jokes for kids will help make everyone laugh on Turkey Day.
Do you know any more funny Thanksgiving jokes for kids? If so, then please share them in the comments. Thanks for reading!
I’m a dog owner that loves poetry, vampires, mountain biking, and cosplay. I’m open to ideas and still trying to figure my SFO life out one blog post at a time. LF ISO SWF GSOH SI DDF.