Have you ever said or done something, and then immediately regretted it? Sometimes we can make complete fools of ourselves all by ourselves. But were your awkward moments ever as bad as these? Here are some of the most embarrassing moments ever.
Curl Up and Die
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, “How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?” ~ Melinda, 39, Seguin, TX
I Need A Pad, Please!
An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I wanted to follow him as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad. He came back and handed me a feminine hygiene pad right in front of our guest. ~ Kathy, 46, Winston-Salem, NC
Ho, Ho, Ho
I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggested that I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror – wearing nothing but a camera!
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women’s type of golf balls I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the golf store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, “I think I like playing with men’s balls.” ~ Colleen, 31, Ferndale, MI
Nuts About You
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, “No, I’m just looking at your nuts.” My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. ~ Faye, 34, Ellerslie, MD
Na-na na-na na-nah!
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving “right now” she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, “If you don’t let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy’s pee-pee last night!” The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter. ~ Amy, Stafford, VA
The Last Birthday Surprise Party In This Family’s History
It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a nude piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn’t want to miss the call, we didn’t have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled, “SURPRISE!” My entire family: aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all my friends were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. It will forever be one of the most embarrassing moments in my life. Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again. ~ Tim, Poughkeepsie, NY
One of the funniest “most embarrassing moments ever” stories I’ve come upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount store. When she went to pay the cashier, one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the cashier got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, “PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE.”
That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word “Tampax” for “THUMBTACKS.” In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. “DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH-IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?”
The entire store erupted in laughter.
Stick It Out
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised, and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal’s office and call his mother and ask her what he should do about it. The boy did and returned to his class.
Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. The teacher went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. “I thought I told you to call your mom,” she screamed. “I did,” he said, “And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she’d come and pick me up from school.” ~ Chris
My wife told me that she wanted to try a vibrator, so I agreed to go with her to a sex shop for the first time. When we walked in, the guy at the store said “Nice to see you again.” ~ Leon
The Most Embarrassing Moments Ever
Hopefully, some of these embarrassing moments will help you feel better about your situation. If not, please tell us about it in the comments below.
I’m a dog owner that loves poetry, vampires, mountain biking, and cosplay. I’m open to ideas and still trying to figure my SFO life out one blog post at a time. LF ISO SWF GSOH SI DDF.