What does Steven Spielberg‘s classic film The Goonies (1985) have in common with Lethal Weapon (1987), Superman (1978), and the scary horror flick The Omen (1976)? They were all directed by Richard Donner. The films also have similar “good vs evil” storylines. The formula is simple: Colorful bad guys (the Fratelli brothers and their villainous mother) + a reluctant-hero (the Walsh brothers and their Goonie friends) + tons of memorable dialogue like all the corny famous Goonies quotes and one-liners.
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The Best Goonies Quotes+−
- Pampers
- Babysitting
- Chunk’s Confession Goonies
- Booty Traps
- Thirsty?
- “Goonies Never Say Die!”
- “Hey You Guys!”
- “If you hit the wrong note, we’ll all B flat!”
- Shame, Shame! I Know Your Name.
- “Chester Copperpot! Don’t you guys see? Don’t you realize? He was a pro. He never made it this far. Look how far we’ve come. We’ve got a chance.”
- Troy’s Bucket & This Is Our Time
- Chunk Confession Quote
- The Rich Stuff
- The Wishing Well – Famous Goonies Quotes
- The Escape Plan: “Why don’t we just put chocolate all over the floor and let Chunk eat his way through?”
- “Man, you smell like Phys. Ed.”
- “I’m not Liberace, you know!”
- We Serve Tongue – Goonies Movie Quotes
- “Mikey, this ain’t the kind of place you want to go to the bathroom in.”
- “They’ve Got An It!”
- Mother’s Love
- Japanese Ritual Suicide vs Peaceful Hindus
- Mom’s Favorite Piece
- Out Of Style
- Frozen Treats
- House Rules
- The Truffle Shuffle
- Always Separate The Drugs
- Don’t Sign The Papers
- My Greatest Invention
- More Funny Quotes From The Goonies
The Best Goonies Quotes
There are so many great Goonies quotes that it’s hard to pick out just the best Chunk quotes or best Data quotes, but we hope you like our selection. Here are the best Goonies quotes from Steven Spielberg’s classic 1985 kid adventure, The Goonies.
Pampers
- Elgin Perkins: Is your mommy here?
- Brandon Walsh: No, sir. Actually, she’s out at the market buying Pampers for all us kids.
Babysitting
- Stef: This is ridiculous. It’s crazy. I feel like I’m babysitting, except I’m not getting paid.
Chunk’s Confession Goonies
- Francis Fratelli: (The Fratellis are interrogating Chunk) Tell us everything! Everything!
- Chunk: Everything. OK! I’ll talk! In 3rd grade, I cheated on my history exam. In 4th grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee, and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In 5th grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs, and I blamed it on the dog. When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids, and then they served lunch I got nuts, and I pigged out, and they kicked me out. But the worst thing I have ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home, and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: Hua-Hua-Hua-Hua-ahh — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible; all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
- Jake Fratelli: I’m beginning to like this kid, Ma!
Booty Traps
- Stef: Data, where are you going?
- Data: I’m setting booty traps.
- Stef: You mean booby traps?
- Data: THAT’S WHAT I SAID! BOOBY TRAPS! God. These Guys!
NERD NOTE: Ke Huy Quan, the actor who played Data in The Goonies, is best known for his roles in the films Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, The Goonies, and Everything Everywhere All at Once. He is a skilled martial artist, having trained in various styles including Tae Kwon Do, Wushu, and Jeet Kune Do. He is also a certified stuntman and has performed stunts in several films and television shows. Ke Huy Quan won an Oscar for his supporting role in the 2022 film, Everything Everywhere All at Once.
Thirsty?
- Mouth: Is this supposed to be water?
- Mama Fratelli: It’s wet, ain’t it? Drink it!
“Goonies Never Say Die!”
- Mikey Walsh: Goonies never say die!
If you’re a true Goonies fan, then you’ll probably remember the iconic line, “Goonies never say die!” If you’re feeling down or facing a tough challenge, remember this quote from The Goonies to give you a boost of motivation.
"Goonies never say die!" – Mikey Walsh, Famous Goonies Sayings #MovieQuotes #80sMovies #GooniesNeverSayDie #Goonies #GooniesQuotes Share on X“Hey You Guys!”
This one is probably the most famous out of all the Sloth Goonies quotes. Sloth says it right before he swings on to the Goonies pirate ship.
- Sloth: Hey, you guys!!
It’s one of those phrases that instantly brings a nostalgic smile to the faces of anyone who say the Goonies movie as a kid. But it’s not just the catchphrase itself – it’s the way it’s delivered by Sloth, that makes it so memorable.
“If you hit the wrong note, we’ll all B flat!”
- Andy: I can’t tell if it’s an “A sharp” or if it’s a “B flat”!
- Mikey: Heh, if you hit the wrong note, we’ll all “B flat!”
Shame, Shame! I Know Your Name.
- (Brand and Andy are about to kiss after falling down together.)
- Chunk: Shame, shame!
- Data Wang: I know your name!
- Mouth: Come on, Brand! Slip her the tongue!
- Stef: Oh, that’s disgusting. Now I can’t even look.
“Chester Copperpot! Don’t you guys see? Don’t you realize? He was a pro. He never made it this far. Look how far we’ve come. We’ve got a chance.”
- Mikey Walsh: (Whispering to himself) Chester Copperpot. Chester Copperpot… (Out loud) Chester Copperpot! Don’t you guys see? Don’t you realize? He was a pro. He never made it this far. Look how far we’ve come. We’ve got a chance.
Troy’s Bucket & This Is Our Time
- Mikey: Don’t you realize? The next time you see the sky, it’ll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it’ll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the best of stuff for us. But right now, they got to do what’s right for them because it’s their time. Their time! Up there! Down here, it’s our time. It’s our time down here. That’s all over the second we ride up “Troy’s bucket.”
Chunk Confession Quote
- Chunk: Listen, okay? You guys will never believe me. There were two cop cars, okay? And they were chasing this four-wheel deal, this really neat ORV, and there were bullets flying all over the place. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw!
- Mikey: More amazing than the time Michael Jackson came over to your house to use the bathroom.
- Brandon Walsh: More amazing than the time you saved those old people from that nursing home fire, right?
- Mouth: Yeah, and I bet it was even more amazing than the time you ate your weight in Godfather’s pizza, right?
- Chunk: Okay, Brand. Michael Jackson didn’t come over to my house to use the bathroom… But his sister did.
The Rich Stuff
- Chunk: Mikey, Mikey, come on, our parents are worried. It’s dinnertime. Why don’t we go home?
- Mikey: Home? What home? In a couple more hours, it ain’t gonna be home anymore. Come on, guys, this is our time. Our last chance to see if there really is any rich stuff. We’ve got to.
The Wishing Well – Famous Goonies Quotes
- The Goonies are collecting coins from a wishing well.
- Stef: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop, stop! You can’t do this.
- Data Wang: Why?
- Mikey: Why?
- Stef: Because these are somebody else’s wishes. They’re somebody else’s dreams.
- Mouth: Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn’t come true. So I’m taking it back. I’m taking them all back.
The Escape Plan: “Why don’t we just put chocolate all over the floor and let Chunk eat his way through?”
- Mouth: Look it! I got an idea. Why don’t we just put chocolate all over the floor and let Chunk eat his way through?
“Man, you smell like Phys. Ed.”
- Chuck: Man, you smell like Phys. Ed.
“I’m not Liberace, you know!”
- Andy: I hit the wrong note. I’m not Liberace, you know!
We Serve Tongue – Goonies Movie Quotes
- Mama Fratelli: The only thing we serve here is tongue! Do you boys like tongue?
“Mikey, this ain’t the kind of place you want to go to the bathroom in.”
- Chunk: Mikey, Mikey, this ain’t the kind of place you want to go to the bathroom in.
- Mama Fratelli: Why not?
- Chunk: Because they might have daddy long legs and um, dead things, Mikey. DEAD THINGS!
“They’ve Got An It!”
- Mikey: I swear on my life! They’ve got an…an ‘IT!’ A giant ‘IT!’ When it came into the light, it was all gross and distorted, and, and…
- Brandon Walsh: Yeah, kinda like your brain, right lame-o? Say goodbye to your little pals.
Mother’s Love
- Mama Fratelli: Kids suck.
Japanese Ritual Suicide vs Peaceful Hindus
- Irene Walsh: Brandon Walsh! If you don’t bring those kids back, I’m going to commit(Amazon link) Hare Krishna!
- Brandon Walsh: That’s Hara-Kiri, Ma!
Mom’s Favorite Piece
- (Data comes flying into the house, knocking over everyone, and Chunk grabs the statue of Michelangelo’s David.)
- Chunk: Hey! I bet you guys think I was going to drop it, huh? I know you would think that from good ol’ Chunk.
- (Places the statue on the table, and it falls off.)
- Brandon Walsh: You Idiot!
- Mikey: Oh my god!
- (Runs over and picks up the statue.)
- Chunk: Look! Look! It’s not broken. It’s perfect! Haha!
- (The statue’s penis has broken off.)
- Mikey: (Tries to put it back on) Oh my GOD! That’s my mom’s most favorite piece!
- Chunk: Oh my god.
- Mouth: You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t.
- Mikey: Shut up Mouth!
- Brandon Walsh: Shut up Mouth.
- Chunk: (With potato chips in his mouth) You think your Mom’s gonna notice.
- Mikey: What?
- Chunk: (More clearly) Do you think your Mom is going to notice? Notice that the statue’s penis is missing.
- Mikey: I wonder if she’ll notice.
- Chunk: That’s what I said!
- Mikey: Well, of course, she’ll notice. She notices everything.
- Chunk: How’s this? (Chunk glued the statue’s penis on upside-down.)
- Mikey: Oh, you idiot! You glued it on upside-down!
- Brandon Walsh: If God made it that way, you’d all be pissing in your faces!
- Chunk: Looks fine to me.
Out Of Style
- Brandon Walsh: I’m gonna hit you so hard that when you wake up your clothes will be out of style!
Frozen Treats
- Chunk: Look at this. They’ve got Mississippi Mud, and they’ve got Chocolate Eruption, and they’ve got what? (Everyone screams.)
- Chunk: It’s a stiff! (Everyone screams and drops the dead body.)
House Rules
- Irene Walsh: Brandon, I want you to keep your brother inside. I don’t want him to catch a cold.
- Brandon Walsh: He should be put in a plastic bubble.
- Irene Walsh: I’m serious, Brandon! That’s not funny. If he takes one step outside, and you’ll be in the deepest, absolutely the deepest, shi, shi, shi…
- Brandon Walsh: Sh!t, ma!
- Irene Walsh: I don’t like that language, but that’s exactly what you’re going to be in, and you Data.
- Data: Data
- Irene Walsh: Data use the front door from now on, okay? What is that?
The Truffle Shuffle
- Mouth: Do the truffle shuffle!
Always Separate The Drugs
This scene has one of my favorite Mouth Goonies quotes from the film. In the scene, Mouth is “translating” Mrs. Walsh’s English instructions to Spanish for Rosalita.
- Irene Walsh: Pants and shirts go in the… oh, forget about it. Just throw everything into cardboard boxes. Clark, can you really translate all that?
- Mouth: For sure, Mrs. Walsh.
- Mouth: (In Spanish) The marijuana goes in the top drawer. The cocaine and speed go in the second drawer. And the heroin goes in the bottom drawer. Always separate the drugs.
Don’t Sign The Papers
- Elgin Perkins: Alright Walsh. Today’s the day, so let’s get this over with.
- Irene Walsh: Irving?
- Irving Walsh: I’m sorry, Irene.
- Troy Perkins: Come on, Walsh. We don’t have all day. There are 50 more houses to tear down after yours.
- Irving Walsh: Easy, Brandon! Easy!
- Mikey: We had our hands on the future, but we blew it to save our own lives… Sorry.
- Mr. Walsh: That’s all right. You and Brand are home safe with your mom and me, which makes us the richest people in Astoria.
- Elgin Perkins: Walsh, you are looking at the richest people in Astoria. Now SIGN IT.
- Data: I’m sure going to miss being a Goonie.
- Brandon Walsh: (Rosalita is screaming in Spanish) What’s she saying, Mouth? Translate.
- Mouth: No, pen. No, write. No sign!
- Mikey: No, Dad. Don’t sign it! (Rosalita runs over to Mrs. Walsh and pulls out her hand and empties Mikey’s marble bag.)
- Mikey: Dad! Dad! It’s my marble bag. The Fratellis forgot to check it. I emptied out all of my marbles and put the jewels in. We don’t have to leave the boondocks!
- Irving Walsh: (Ripping up the foreclosure document) There’ll be no more signing today or ever again. (Cheering)
My Greatest Invention
- Andy: Watch this. (Data’s father takes a camera out of his jacket and proceeds to take a picture, but the film falls out. Andy starts laughing.)
- Andy: He’s just like his father.
- Data Wang: (In Chinese) That’s OK, daddy. You can’t hug a photograph.
- Mr. Wang: (In Chinese) You are my greatest invention.
More Funny Quotes From The Goonies
Please let us know in the comments if we missed any of your favorite Goonies quotes or one-liners from the film. We will add it to this article and give you credit. And please check out our list of fun Goonies trivia.
From Chunk's confession to Mama Fratelli's 'tongue' menu, these #Goonies quotes are sure to bring back memories of the beloved 1980s film. #thegoonies #chunkquotes #movies #gooniesquotes #richarddonner #truffleshuffle Share on X
Frank Wilson is a retired teacher with over 30 years of combined experience in the education, small business technology, and real estate business. He now blogs as a hobby and spends most days tinkering with old computers. Wilson is passionate about tech, enjoys fishing, and loves drinking beer.
BABY RUTH!!!!
1632 is that a year or something ? Chunk
“The only thing we serve here is tongue! You boys like tongue?”