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Home : Technology : Rejected iPod Engravings: The Funniest (and Most Offensive) Things People Tried to Get Engraved

ipod 120gb
ipod 120gb

Rejected iPod Engravings: The Funniest (and Most Offensive) Things People Tried to Get Engraved

Here's a giant list of rejected iPod engravings that were censored by Apple.

Sep 26, 2005 by J. Frank Wilson
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Table of Contents[Hide][Show]
  • Ultimate List of Apple’s Rejected iPod Engravings
  • The Following iPod Engravings Were Not Rejected by Apple, But Still Very Clever And Funny
  • How To Get Your Rejected Message Engraved On An iPod
  • Did You Like Our List Of Rejected iPod Engravings?+−
    • Apple Reduces iPod Line: RIP iPod Nano & iPod Shuffle (2005-2017)
    • 53 of the FUNNIEST Steve Jobs Moments on Stage
    • Is This The Forgotten Member Of The Band OK GO?
Reading Time: 3 minutes

When you order an iPod from the Apple Store, you can personalize it with a custom, laser-engraved message. However, not everything gets engraved. Apple has been censoring some engravings for editorial reasons. Here is the ultimate list of rejected iPod engravings.

Ultimate List of Apple’s Rejected iPod Engravings

The following is a collection of engravings from MethodShop readers that were actually rejected by Apple. Enjoy!

  1. 10,000 Stolen Tunes Inside* ~Anonymous
  2. iMolest kids.* ~ gushasan
  3. Not to be used as a suppository.* ~Umbralkin
  4. I cost more than three hookers.* ~Umbralkin
  5. When my battery dies, so will you.* ~Umbralkin
  6. Not responsible for prolonged damage to the ear & brain.* ~Anonymous
  7. iPod Limited Edition: Retard Compatible. * ~Jimmy4Kim
  8. Rip, Mix, & Burn Down RIAA Headquarters* ~Anonymous
  9. Cocaine and razor blade not included.* ~Carl
  10. Lick My Shiny Metal Ass* ~Anonymous
  11. karma is a bitch* ~Anonymous
  12. Bad Mother Fucker* (settled with “Bad Mother Fucka) ~Ben
  13. Something small & white that Enrique Eglasias Isn’t In.* ~wiredgargoyle
  14. I play with myself.* ~ leonardom
  15. Steal this? Will self-destruct when used.* ~Anonymous
  16. iMasturbate five times a day* ~rjones (read article)
  17. F uck Osama.* ~Anonymous
  18. Screwing The RIAA One Download At A Time* ~Mike P.
  19. I cost more per ounce than cocaine.* ~dgcole
  20. This iPod will self-destruct in 1 year.* ~dale
  21. Practice safe sex… Go FU*K yourself!* ~whocares590
  22. Controls on reverse side, you STUPID FCUK!* ~Christiaan

The Following iPod Engravings Were Not Rejected by Apple, But Still Very Clever And Funny

An Entry From A List Of Rejected Ipod Engravings That Says &Quot;Steal At Your Own Risk&Quot;
“Steal At Your Own Risk. Bomb Installed”
  1. Mohammed The iPhone ~rjmellish
  2. Trapped in iPod factory. Please send help ~Pheenix
  3. “One time at band camp.” ~JLOVE
  4. 49 20 66 75 63 6b 69 6e 67 72 75 6c 65 ~TehSnarf
    (translation: I f-ing rule in HEX)
  5. Turn Me Over And Rub Your Thumb All Over Me
  6. This engraving has lowered my resale value ~I00s3r
  7. I don’t need good taste, I’ve got selection.~Umbralkin
  8. Kiss me, I’ve got Irish music.~Umbralkin
  9. To all the Chinese children who made my iPod, Thanks! ~ Plaid Speed
  10. George Bush Hates Black People ~Kayne West
  11. fatti i cazzi tuoi (Mind your own f-ing business) ~gatherings
  12. I Don’t Do Windows ~Anonymous
Rejected Ipod Engraving I Steal Music
“I Steal Music” – iPod Engraving
  1. I steal music ~ greg2
  2. Me vs. RIAA: Exhibit A ~ukealii50
  3. My other iPod is a Millenium Falcon ~commongiga
  4. Steal At Your Own Risk. Bomb Installed ~Nick A.
  5. Tom Cruise is a couch humping homo ~Anonymous
  6. Mic0s0f7 5ux a$$ ~Anonymous
  7. I may be small and white but at least I’ve got a big disk! ~Jesse S.
  8. Don’t fsck with me or: $find / -name u | /dev/null
  9. Scratch your balls, not my metal. ~Anonymous
  10. Who said Apple sucks? ~Jaeboy
  11. Save water, drink beer and shower together. ~ Jquinn825
  12. Now you have two little white pocket rockets. ~Anonymous
  13. People will pay more to be entertained than educated. ~DulceDLeche16
  14. WARNING: Contains Yanni Box Set. ~Anonymous
  15. 10,000 reasons to ignore my wife. ~Anonymous
  16. If only women’s buttons were this easy to push. ~Anonymous
  17. This iPod makes up for my small hard disk. ~Anonymous
  18. Once you go small and white… ~Anonymous
  19. 98% Liberace-free! ~Anonymous
  20. Harmful If Swallowed. ~Anonymous
  21. Dear [insert name], Thanks for the iPod idea. Steve Jobs ~IFC1
  22. I’m so trendy look at my white headphones! ~sjs
  23. Size Does Matter ~Anonymous
  24. Musically Disturbed ~Joe F.
  25. Weapons of Mass Distraction Inside ~wiredgargoyle
  26. Contents Under Pressure from RIAA ~wiredgargoyle
  27. My other handheld is a PocketPC ~vostinar
  28. CDs are for Amish people! ~mustachioman
  29. Quarter free jukebox ~mustachioman
  30. FCUK WINDOWS ~lancew
  31. Why drink and drive, When you can smoke and fly. ~tipx
  32. I last 8 hrs. You last 2 minutes. Who’s the man? ~Anonymous
  33. My iPod can beat up your honor roll student. ~Anonymous
  34. Your mamma uses a walkman. ~Anonymous
  35. “Say hello to my little friend” ~iiikora
  36. FCUK THE SHUFFLE, WTF I Ordered a 60 Gigger! ~dilpreet64
  37. Here’s another one that requires a few extra brain cells. If you use the first line, as the input for the second line. It produces the text… “This music was all stolen” in plain English. ~asterisk
    • Gopz tbzpj dhz hss zavklu.
    • for(;;i++)d[i]=d[i]%26+65;

How To Get Your Rejected Message Engraved On An iPod

Photos Of An Ipod With The Phrase &Quot;George Bush Hates Black Ipods&Quot; - Ultimate List Of Rejected Ipod Engravings
iPod engraved with the phrase, “George Bush hates black iPods.”

Do you have a rejected iPod engraving that you still really want laser-etched on your iPod? If Apple does reject your engraving, just take your iPod to your local jeweler. They can engrave it for you.

Did You Like Our List Of Rejected iPod Engravings?

Just another reminder, only the entries with a * were actually rejected by Apple. All other entries were just made up by our readers. The staff at WIRED took issue with our list of rejected iPod engravings and said the following:

“MethodShop.com has a rather disappointing list of rejected iPod engravings. Three quarters of the submissions have obviously been made up but about a dozen appear to be real; none of them is very funny.”

We disagree. Several of the rejected iPod engravings are funny, or at least humorous. Sorry if our readers aren’t funny enough to meet WIRED’s elite comedy standards.





If you have either a real rejected iPod engraving, or even just a funny one, please send it to us. And if you enjoyed this article, or just want to say hi, then please leave a comment. Thanks.

Rejected iPod Engravings: The Funniest (and Most Offensive) Things People Tried to Get Engraved #ipod #ipodlife #applefans
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J. Frank Wilson
J. Frank Wilson

Frank Wilson is a retired teacher with over 30 years of combined experience in the education, small business technology, and real estate business. He now blogs as a hobby and spends most days tinkering with old computers. Wilson is passionate about tech, enjoys fishing, and loves drinking beer.


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Category: Technology, Humor Tag: Apple, apple store, censorship, iPod, Lasers
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