Ultimate List of Rejected iPod Engravings

When you order an iPod from the Apple Store, you can personalize it with a custom, laser-engraved message. However, not everything gets engraved. Apple has been censoring some engravings for editorial reasons. Here is the ultimate list of rejected iPod engravings.

Apple’s Rejected iPod Engravings

The following is a collection of engravings from MethodShop readers that were actually rejected by Apple. And some that probably should have been. Enjoy!

1. 10,000 Stolen Tunes Inside* ~Anonymous
2. iMolest kids.* ~ gushasan
3. Not to be used as a suppository.* ~Umbralkin
4. I cost more than three hookers.* ~Umbralkin
5. When my battery dies, so will you.* ~Umbralkin
6. Not responsible for prolonged damage to the ear & brain.* ~Anonymous
7. iPod Limited Edition: Retard Compatible. * ~Jimmy4Kim
8. Rip, Mix, & Burn Down RIAA Headquarters* ~Anonymous
9. Cocaine and razor blade not included.* ~Carl
10. Lick My Shiny Metal Ass* ~Anonymous
11. karma is a bitch* ~Anonymous
12. Bad Mother Fucker* (settled with “Bad Mother Fucka) ~Ben
13. Something small & white that Enrique Eglasias Isn’t In.* ~wiredgargoyle
14. I play with myself.* ~ leonardom
15. Steal this? Will self-destruct when used.* ~Anonymous
16. iMasturbate five times a day* ~rjones [read article]
17. F uck Osama.* ~Anonymous
18. Screwing The RIAA One Download At A Time* ~Mike P.
19. I cost more per ounce than cocaine.* ~dgcole
20. This iPod will self-destruct in 1 year.* ~dale
21. Practice safe sex… Go FU*K yourself!* ~whocares590
22. Controls on reverse side, you STUPID FCUK!* ~Christiaan

The Following iPod Engravings Were Not Rejected by Apple, But Still Very Clever And Funny

1. 1. Mohammed The iPhone ~rjmellish
   2. Trapped in iPod factory. Please send help ~Pheenix
   3. “One time at band camp.” ~JLOVE
   4. 49 20 66 75 63 6b 69 6e 67 72 75 6c 65 ~TehSnarf
      (translation: I f-ing rule in HEX)
   5. Turn Me Over And Rub Your Thumb All Over Me
   6. This engraving has lowered my resale value ~I00s3r
   7. I don’t need good taste, I’ve got selection.~Umbralkin
   8. Kiss me, I’ve got Irish music.~Umbralkin
   9. To all the Chinese children who made my iPod, Thanks! ~ Plaid Speed
   10. George Bush Hates Black People ~Kayne West
   11. fatti i cazzi tuoi (Mind your own f-ing business) ~gatherings
   12. I Don’t Do Windows ~Anonymous
   13. I steal music ~ greg2
   14. Me vs. RIAA: Exhibit A ~ukealii50
   15. My other iPod is a Millenium Falcon ~commongiga
   16. Steal At Your Own Risk. Bomb Installed ~Nick A.
   17. Tom Cruise is a couch humping homo ~Anonymous
   18. Mic0s0f7 5ux a$$ ~Anonymous
   19. I may be small and white but at least I’ve got a big disk! ~Jesse S.
   20. Don’t fsck with me or: $find / -name u | /dev/null
   21. Scratch your balls, not my metal. ~Anonymous
   22. Who said Apple sucks? ~Jaeboy
   23. Save water, drink beer and shower together. ~ Jquinn825
   24. Now you have two little white pocket rockets. ~Anonymous
   25. People will pay more to be entertained than educated. ~DulceDLeche16
   26. WARNING: Contains Yanni Box Set. ~Anonymous
   27. 10,000 reasons to ignore my wife. ~Anonymous
   28. If only women’s buttons were this easy to push. ~Anonymous
   29. This iPod makes up for my small hard disk. ~Anonymous
   30. Once you go small and white… ~Anonymous
   31. 98% Liberace-free! ~Anonymous
   32. Harmful If Swallowed. ~Anonymous
   33. Dear [insert name], Thanks for the iPod idea. Steve Jobs ~IFC1
   34. I’m so trendy look at my white headphones! ~sjs
   35. Size Does Matter ~Anonymous
   36. Musically Disturbed ~Joe F.
   37. Weapons of Mass Distraction Inside ~wiredgargoyle
   38. Contents Under Pressure from RIAA ~wiredgargoyle
   39. My other handheld is a PocketPC ~vostinar
   40. CDs are for Amish people! ~mustachioman
   41. Quarter free jukebox ~mustachioman
   42. FCUK WINDOWS ~lancew
   43. Why drink and drive, When you can smoke and fly. ~tipx
   44. I last 8 hrs. You last 2 minutes. Who’s the man? ~Anonymous
   45. My iPod can beat up your honor roll student. ~Anonymous
   46. Your mamma uses a walkman. ~Anonymous
   47. “Say hello to my little friend” ~iiikora
   48. FCUK THE SHUFFLE, WTF I Ordered a 60 Gigger! ~dilpreet64
   49. Here’s another one that requires a few extra brain cells. If you use the first line, as the input for the second line. It produces the text… “This music was all stolen” in plain English. ~asterisk
       • Gopz tbzpj dhz hss zavklu.
       • for(;;i++)d[i]=d[i]%26+65;

How To Get Your Rejected Message Engraved

Do you have a rejected iPod engraving that you still really want to laser-etched on your iPod? If Apple does reject your engraving, just take your iPod to your local jeweler. They can engrave it for you.

Did You Like Our List Of Rejected iPod Engravings?

Reminder, only entries with a * were actually rejected by Apple. All other entries were just made up by our readers. If you have a real rejected engraving, or just a funny one, please send it to us. If you enjoyed this article, then please leave a comment. Thanks.