When you order an iPod from the Apple Store, you can personalize it with a custom, laser-engraved message. However, not everything gets engraved. Apple has been censoring some engravings for editorial reasons. Here is the ultimate list of rejected iPod engravings.
Apple’s Rejected iPod Engravings
The following is a collection of engravings from MethodShop readers that were actually rejected by Apple. And some that probably should have been. Enjoy!
- 10,000 Stolen Tunes Inside* ~Anonymous
- iMolest kids.* ~ gushasan
- Not to be used as a suppository.* ~Umbralkin
- I cost more than three hookers.* ~Umbralkin
- When my battery dies, so will you.* ~Umbralkin
- Not responsible for prolonged damage to the ear & brain.* ~Anonymous
- iPod Limited Edition: Retard Compatible. * ~Jimmy4Kim
- Rip, Mix, & Burn Down RIAA Headquarters* ~Anonymous
- Cocaine and razor blade not included.* ~Carl
- Lick My Shiny Metal Ass* ~Anonymous
- karma is a bitch* ~Anonymous
- Bad Mother Fucker* (settled with “Bad Mother Fucka) ~Ben
- Something small & white that Enrique Eglasias Isn’t In.* ~wiredgargoyle
- I play with myself.* ~ leonardom
- Steal this? Will self-destruct when used.* ~Anonymous
- iMasturbate five times a day* ~rjones [read article]
- F uck Osama.* ~Anonymous
- Screwing The RIAA One Download At A Time* ~Mike P.
- I cost more per ounce than cocaine.* ~dgcole
- This iPod will self-destruct in 1 year.* ~dale
- Practice safe sex… Go FU*K yourself!* ~whocares590
- Controls on reverse side, you STUPID FCUK!* ~Christiaan
The Following iPod Engravings Were Not Rejected by Apple, But Still Very Clever And Funny
- Mohammed The iPhone ~rjmellish
- Trapped in iPod factory. Please send help ~Pheenix
- “One time at band camp.” ~JLOVE
- 49 20 66 75 63 6b 69 6e 67 72 75 6c 65 ~TehSnarf
(translation: I f-ing rule in HEX)
- Turn Me Over And Rub Your Thumb All Over Me
- This engraving has lowered my resale value ~I00s3r
- I don’t need good taste, I’ve got selection.~Umbralkin
- Kiss me, I’ve got Irish music.~Umbralkin
- To all the Chinese children who made my iPod, Thanks! ~ Plaid Speed
- George Bush Hates Black People ~Kayne West
- fatti i cazzi tuoi (Mind your own f-ing business) ~gatherings
- I Don’t Do Windows ~Anonymous
- I steal music ~ greg2
- Me vs. RIAA: Exhibit A ~ukealii50
- My other iPod is a Millenium Falcon ~commongiga
- Steal At Your Own Risk. Bomb Installed ~Nick A.
- Tom Cruise is a couch humping homo ~Anonymous
- Mic0s0f7 5ux a$$ ~Anonymous
- I may be small and white but at least I’ve got a big disk! ~Jesse S.
- Don’t fsck with me or: $find / -name u | /dev/null
- Scratch your balls, not my metal. ~Anonymous
- Who said Apple sucks? ~Jaeboy
- Save water, drink beer and shower together. ~ Jquinn825
- Now you have two little white pocket rockets. ~Anonymous
- People will pay more to be entertained than educated. ~DulceDLeche16
- WARNING: Contains Yanni Box Set. ~Anonymous
- 10,000 reasons to ignore my wife. ~Anonymous
- If only women’s buttons were this easy to push. ~Anonymous
- This iPod makes up for my small hard disk. ~Anonymous
- Once you go small and white… ~Anonymous
- 98% Liberace-free! ~Anonymous
- Harmful If Swallowed. ~Anonymous
- Dear [insert name], Thanks for the iPod idea. Steve Jobs ~IFC1
- I’m so trendy look at my white headphones! ~sjs
- Size Does Matter ~Anonymous
- Musically Disturbed ~Joe F.
- Weapons of Mass Distraction Inside ~wiredgargoyle
- Contents Under Pressure from RIAA ~wiredgargoyle
- My other handheld is a PocketPC ~vostinar
- CDs are for Amish people! ~mustachioman
- Quarter free jukebox ~mustachioman
- FCUK WINDOWS ~lancew
- Why drink and drive, When you can smoke and fly. ~tipx
- I last 8 hrs. You last 2 minutes. Who’s the man? ~Anonymous
- My iPod can beat up your honor roll student. ~Anonymous
- Your mamma uses a walkman. ~Anonymous
- “Say hello to my little friend” ~iiikora
- FCUK THE SHUFFLE, WTF I Ordered a 60 Gigger! ~dilpreet64
- Here’s another one that requires a few extra brain cells. If you use the first line, as the input for the second line. It produces the text… “This music was all stolen” in plain English. ~asterisk
- Gopz tbzpj dhz hss zavklu.
How To Get Your Rejected Message Engraved
Do you have a rejected iPod engraving that you still really want to laser-etched on your iPod? If Apple does reject your engraving, just take your iPod to your local jeweler. They can engrave it for you.
Did You Like Our List Of Rejected iPod Engravings?
Reminder, only entries with a * were actually rejected by Apple. All other entries were just made up by our readers. If you have a real rejected engraving, or just a funny one, please send it to us. If you enjoyed this article, then please leave a comment. Thanks.